Hi there, I know you don’t know me…. But I once was you.
I sat in that exact black leather passenger seat you’re in right now. You’re driving down the interstate late night, and he’s playing some obnoxious song, screaming along to every lyric. After each verse, he turns to you and smiles trying to get you to join in. You can’t stop laughing long enough to catch your breath. He’s got one hand gripped on the steering wheel and the other entangled through your fingers. You watch him from the passenger seat, the highway lights illuminating his silhouette every so often causing his eyes to flicker like embers. He turns down the volume and sits next to you in silence for a few minutes. The silence is starting to kill you, but right when you were about to break; he says something you’ve been waiting to hear for the past three months. You’re sitting in that passenger seat, your right hand gripping the bottom of the seat. I know you’ve got a million things running through your mind…But stop right there. He loves you, I promise he does. He is not one to openly throw around those three words. I’m sure by now you’ve noticed the little things he does. How he always checks to make sure you got home safely or how he never lets you pay for your coffee order.
He’s loved you for months but didn’t know how to tell you.
Right now, your relationship has just begun. You are still discovering each other and learning. I know everything feels like a whirlwind of happiness, and you’ve never felt this way, but please keep in mind things will lose their luster. You’ll learn that his anxiety from his parents’ divorce has affected the way he can trust. He’ll get mad at you when you don’t understand that he just doesn’t want to talk when he’s upset. However, don’t let him fool you as being a tough guy, he cries too. I know that it will be hard, but give him space. He’ll come around and talk to you when he’s ready. You’ll just end up causing a pointless fight if you pry. He also has a habit of forgetting to put sugar in your coffee. He’ll do this more often than none and will get so flustered with himself that he will drive back to the coffee shop to get you a new one. You’ll playfully laugh and tell him to stop being ridiculous. He’ll kiss your forehead and say that you deserve nothing but the best. He’ll come back in 15 minutes with a new coffee in hand and your favorite flowers. He loves you. I promise.
I’m sure you will never actually know who I am. You will just catch glimpses through the few pictures that remain of us and the girl that comes up a few times when you both start talking about the past. You’ll hear about how people grow apart, and they both decided it was time to walk away. I know I am no longer in his book, but all I ask is that you take care of him. Be slow to anger and abundant in kindness with him.
He deserves someone like yourself, who is willing to go to the ends of the Earth with him.
It’s not going to be easy all the time; relationships are never picture perfect. But please, do not give up on him. For all I know you may be the one for him, and if that is the case, I am happy for you.
I am thankful I got to be a chapter, but this is your book now.
You’ll place your right hand on top of his that’s entangled with yours, staring at the white lines on the pavement, “I love you too.”
Take care of him.
Sincerely,
The Woman Who Loved Him Enough to Let Go
