Dear Dr. Stein,
My name is Stephanie and I was entertained and informed by The Vasectomist documentary, featuring your mission to responsibly offer permanent, reliable tools for family planning. I appreciated your incorporation of the bigger picture: our responsibility to population regulation and combating the public perception toward the procedure. As a woman, I am writing you even though you are a urologist because I was moved by your ideas. I feel I am in need of this point of view for accomplishing my plans for my reproductive future. I feel that your advice could be useful in moving forward with this complicated situation in my reproductive choices.
I am 28-years-old and do not want children.** I will finish a master’s degree this year, and am just truly beginning my professional career. I have been steadfast in this decision since beginning birth control in my teens. Truly, children have just never been in my dreams for the future, and I don’t believe in forcing them in for the wrong reason (significant other, parents, social, etc.). Through the years, I have bounced among contraceptive methods; I have a committed partner but he is not open to vasectomy and I take responsibility for protecting my body. I am currently on my second round of the 3-year Progesterone Nexplanon implant, and to its credit it has been effective. However, aside from leaving visible scars on my arm, I experience daily spotting and frequent abdominal pain, along with a “regular” week of a monthly menstrual bleed (these side effects have never abated in the 3 and ½ years).
Further solidifying my sentiment, I have a hereditary condition.*
I have pleaded with gynecologists and primary care doctors since my teens and early twenties (usually after a birth control method made me miserable) to finally relieve me with a tubal ligation (I am not aware of any other permanent methods for women). So far as I know, there are no major side effects to this. No one will do it or even discuss it. I consistently receive responses like, “You will regret it when you change your mind”, “You’re too young”, “We just don’t perform that procedure on a woman without children”.
Dr. Stein**, I must ask your feelings on this. I admire your dedication to providing men with the choice to permanently protect from pregnancy. Why must I have a pregnancy, which I do not want, in order to qualify for that same choice, as a woman? Is there anything I can do or say to assert the right to control my own reproduction? I am fed up with the uncomfortable side effects of birth control. Your views in The Vasectomist were refreshing to hear, rather than the demeaning view I am used to from some professionals I have inquired to in my own life; giving me the feeling that I am not smart enough to know my body or make the right decision.
Any advice or next steps on this topic would be much appreciated. I hope that you are well and further accomplishing your goals. Keep up the great work!
Stephanie M. See
sseeliger@rivier.edu
I actually am looking to send this letter to the doctor and have requested the e-mail address from his website (it's a little harder to get in touch than I assumed). Hopefully, I'll be able to update with a summary of his advice!
Footnotes:
*I purposefully edited a portion of this letter, well, because I don't feel like sharing it. But, the point is that there are deeper reasons than preference playing into my certainty on remaining childless.
**As should be obvious, this is an opinion piece, and is in no way meant to provoke the personal, social or religious beliefs of any reader (honestly, I don't care anyway. Save it.).
***Dr. Doug Stein has performed about 30,000 vasectomies in the US, Asia, Africa and the Caribbean. His home office is out of Tampa, FL (where he also touts a pretty famous billboard publicizing his services). The documentary discussed, The Vasectomist is available on Netflix now! He's an interesting guy, so check it out. Here's the trailer:
