"You still have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do."
You were sick of hearing it in high school and you're still sick of the dreaded phrase halfway through college. I know I am.
Truth is, I'm still undecided about a lot of things. What I can do with my major, if I even want to pursue my major, what to do after college, etc. Sure, I have passions for certain activities, but I just haven't found my true inspiration yet -- my calling, if you will. I've gone through a checklist of different subjects to see if any of them sparked an interest, and the results were almost frightening to me. Science? No. History? Maybe. Math? Not a chance.
It seemed so unfair. Everyone else has their lives so constructed, so why did a fuzzy future choose me? I journeyed through a phase that most people feel: Like I wasn't meant to amount to anything great. And, even presently, I sometimes feel that same way. Like there is an emptiness inside of me waiting to be filled. Everyone feels spurts of opportunity now and then. I definitely have. Watching all eight seasons of "House, M.D." can make me believe for a moment that I'm destined to be a world-renowned Diagnostician, just like how 10 seasons of "Criminal Minds" crafts me into an honorary BAU agent. Heck, I've even found myself a little envious of the Old Ladies on "Sons of Anarchy." Though these TV series aren't real, they do offer insight on career paths. They portray real jobs, and I'm sure the fictional characters took fictional time and effort to become experts in their careers.
Anyway, it did get me thinking. What is it I really want to do in my life?
The problem is, I can't give you a straight answer. Amidst my calling that's hiding somewhere in the dark, I know that I'm not alone.
My advice? Try different things from different areas of expertise and see if something sticks out to you. On a whim, I joined my high school newspaper staff four years ago, and writing discovered me. Forward four years later to now, and I still find words as therapeutic as I did then. I even participated in National Novel Writing Month, where you get the chance to write 50,000 words in the month of November. All you have to do is write these words, and you win a virtual certificate. It isn't a major reward, but I felt more fulfilled with myself than I thought I would.
Don't be afraid of what you don't know. Sure, the unknown is scary. And, sure, you won't be perfect at everything you try, but you won't know until you take action. If I wouldn't have started my novel, there is no way I would have ever crossed the finish line.
And don't count Google short! The search engine has actually spoon-fed me plenty of food for thought. It has aided me in narrowing down the countless possibilities in the world of writing. I may not have a direct path yet, but I haven't -- and won't -- give up the pursuit to fill this uncertainty.
So, here we are. Hopefully, you feel a little more at ease with your personal unknown. As for me, I sit sipping green tea, still unsure of myself. My mind is as clueless as it was in high school, but I do know one thing: When I do find what it is I want to do, I'll be pretty spectacular at it.