Hello my fellow children of divorced parents! Remember the days when we were the only kids in class with divorced parents? If you were young, you had to explain why Mommy didn’t live with Daddy, and who that new person was that picked you up from soccer practice. “He’s kind of like a dad, but different,” you would say.

If you were older like I was, you were bombarded with personal questions that you either didn’t know the answer to, or didn’t want to reveal to anyone. Every divorce is different. They’re like snowflakes, only 100 times less beautiful.

Here’s the line we all hear, “Sometimes grownups fall out of love. Sometimes they need to be apart, but it doesn’t mean they love you any less.” That sounds familiar, right? It seems like when two people get married, they should plan to be together forever. But when they can’t or don’t, we understand. We put up with being thrown between two houses every holiday and every other weekend. But all we ask for is a little stability after having our lives turned upside down. So, when Mom sits you down to tell you there’s a new man in her life… a few thoughts zoom through your head.

1.What the heck?

2.My mom is dating? Ew.

3.Who’s this guy, and what right does he have to invade my almost stable life?

These questions also work for the dads who find new women.

I could tell you that I was completely supportive of my mom’s new marriage. I could tell you that I was graceful and pleasant, but I’ve never been a good liar. I was scared. Why introduce someone new into my life that might leave like others have? But I was a good daughter. I sang at the wedding and smiled through the confusion.

Here I am, three years later, writing a letter of thanks to the stepdad I thought I would hate. Here goes!

Dear Step-Parents,

You kind of freaked us out at first. We hated the idea of having to make room for you. We had just gotten used to the idea of one parent in the house. Also, your determination to make us like you was a bit annoying at first. We didn’t want to get to know you. It may be rude, but that’s how we felt.

We’re here to apologize. For those times you tried to bond with us and we rejected your attempts, we’re sorry. For that first time you told us you loved us and we didn’t respond, we’re sorry. That time we ignored your instruction to stay at home or clean our rooms, we’re sorry. That time we yelled that you had no right to tell us what to do, we’re sorry.

You started to grow on us. Despite our best efforts to push you away, you were always there trying to have a relationship with us. So, your quirks and corny jokes started to make us laugh. Your stories about growing up in Germany fascinated us, and most of all we started to enjoy your company.

Our life has not always been easy. We felt abandoned and betrayed a lot of the time. But the moment we realized we could let down our guard and let you into our hearts was such a relief. So, we want to thank you. Thank you for your stubbornness, your determination, your taste in music, your giant heart, and your love.

You’ve meant more to us than we’ll ever be able to say. So, thank you. Thank you for taking us in and treating us like family. You have become our family, and we look forward to more corny jokes and weird movies with you. Thanks for being our parent. We love you.

Sincerely,

The Blessed Kid of an Awesome (Step) Parent