This is to me and you, the ones suffering from what some call “only child syndrome.” Here's to wanting to be alone at any moment in time, occasional talking to self, daydreaming, consuming yourself with your own thoughts, not wanting any help or advice from others, and finally, the irritating feeling that we get when things are going wrong. This syndrome isn't for everyone, and sometimes I feel it doesn't pertain to me either. We are called brats, spoiled, and daddy’s little angels but this letter is to those who have got it all wrong. Spoiled isn't being showered with gifts and fancy cars. Spoiled in my world is a little different.
Growing up, my parents made sure I had everything that I ever asked for. Dolls, CDs, Gameboys, Beyonce’ tickets, and any or everything sparkly. Their jobs allowed everything to be so easy. I could get whatever my heart’s desires were because there wasn’t ever a need for me to save or budget money. In short, life was great. We would go to see plays and stay at the most expensive hotels when we went on vacation. My clothes were name brand and I had a new sweater to wear every week to go to school. My jackets, bags, and even lunch kits had my name embroidered on them. Not once did I have to worry about how we were going to survive in the coming years, but one day, everything changed.
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I remember coming home from school, it was a gloomy day. Trees were swaying side to side from the wind hitting their branches. You could hear thunder here and there, which in my mind, was God’s way of letting us know that rain was coming. By stepping outside from my garage, I could smell the rain that was getting ready to pour down on my neighborhood. My dad was home watching television, not saying a word. He seemed to have so much on his mind, and I didn't want to ask. Soon, my mother drove her car into the driveway, getting out with a look of despair. I ran to give her a hug, and as I wrapped my arms around her waist, she gave me a pat on my back and said, “Mama's not feeling good.”
She left me standing there as she walked in the house. Not knowing what to do, I followed her into her bedroom and watched her sit on the side of her bed with sadness. She later sat me down and told me that she had been let go from her job. At such a young age, I wasn't sure what that meant but I could tell that it was not good.
A week later, I was placed on the side of the bed once again to hear my dad tell me that he too had lost his job. That week, happiness wasn't allowed in my house. My parents hardly spoke to one another or me. It was one of the most silent days my family had ever experienced. During that time, I would write letters and draw pictures to my parents, hoping for happy feedback. It worked, but only for a short time.
The year passed with no progress. The dolls, CDs, and fancy clothes stopped being brought through the front door. I stopped asking for them and everything else I wanted. Years passed and we had ups and downs, but as an only child, I learned that if it's something that I want, I must retrieve it myself. Seeing my parents struggle with bills is the hardest thing I had ever seen. Sometimes I prayed for a brother or sister to cry with while my parents argued downstairs.
All of this may sound negative, but as a 22-year-old and recent college graduate, I thank those companies and people who let my parents go because it helped me grow as an independent individual. Parents are made to teach their children the way of a good life. They try to give their children the best of what life has to offer and to show them the proper way to succeed. To me, losing their jobs spawned the biggest lesson life could have taught me. I am able to withstand any trail. I am able to make one dollar stretch for as long as I can. I am able to withstand any obstacle or challenge: Why? Because I have watched the two most important people in my world make struggle into greatness. My parents taught me to be strong, and to never give up, because even at the ages of 59 and 70 they still haven't given up on anything and especially not on me. I know that when the time comes and they are in heaven, they can look down at me and smile because even if I struggle, I will know how to keep going.
This letter is for the only children who have seen tireless nights amidst their parents dealing with a financial struggle. I salute you for being that clutch to your parents because I know that it isn't easy... For taking the negatives to positives and remembering that if your mom and dad did it, so can you. This is coming from another only child that hears you. We are not brats or daddy’s little angels, but we are spoiled. Spoiled with love from the parents that would die for us, that will give us their last without thinking about themselves, and because when everyone has turned their backs on us, our parents are there to hold us. So you can say to yourself and others, “Yes, I am a spoiled, only child... and that’s okay.”
