Dear Roommate,

It's been a while. Four years and no call. How have you been? How's Colorado? Rocky Mountains are beautiful this time of year. Remember that one we skipped class and went hiking? We were sitting there by the fire, you turned to me and said, "wanna do something crazy?" I confidently replied, "always." And the next morning we got matching tattoos on our shoulders. I'm writing you all of this so you are reminded of the good times. I'm writing you all of this so you remember how we used to be so close... Closer than anyone else. I'm writing you all of this because I'm the one who stole your mattress back in Boulder.

It was an impulsive decision. I was moving to the city to follow my then ex-boyfriend, Andrew (you remember him, right?), who, by the way, is sitting next to me right now. We're back together! Surprise! I know he used to drink too much and that was a real issues but he swears he's OK. Anyways, I needed a mattress for my new place and you know how broke I was. I spent all my money on that Range Rover and I never looked back. I know, I know, I should have just asked, but it was seriously way too last minute and you definitely would have said no. I know you. Remember that. I know you and I know you will forgive me... Eventually. I'm so sorry.

-Your Roommate