I’m not going to start this letter with “how are you?” or “it’s been such a long time,” because, honestly, it’s boring and it feels just plain awkward and mundane. I want this to be to you because you have impacted my life. Whether it was in a good or bad way, you have made me the person I am today, and that actually means something and that’s something that we shouldn’t just throw away.
It’s probably been years since I have seen you in person, let alone talked to you. And, just to be clear, I don’t blame you. Not in the slightest. It’s probably more my fault than it is yours. I allowed it to happen. I didn’t reach out. I would like to say that this is due to my natural instinct to be shy and socially unavailable. But maybe it is just because of my insecurity as a person. Or maybe it is because I let it happen. At this point, I’m not sure I want to know.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over these past few years, it’s how dangerously easy it is to fall out of touch. To break that bond we once thought was so strong that nothing could break it. A binding that was as strong as the trees in the forest, with branches so old and so fortified that nothing in the world could break them.
But that’s just not the real world.
Yes, we said that we would be friends forever and that we would “see each other later,” but that’s just not reality. I think that we both knew what would be the actual outcome. We were probably just kidding ourselves with our flimsy promises and our weak oaths that we would stay in touch.
None of this is to say that our friendship was nothing or that our friendship was an illusion. It was true friendship. It was pure and unforgettable. It blossomed into something beautiful and it meant something, or at least to me it did. I hope that it meant something to you, too.
I don’t know what you think of me now. Hopefully, your thoughts of me are full of wonderful memories that were fun and exciting, memories were we were both full of happiness and joy. I hope that we were having the time of our lives, where we were naïve of the real and sometimes cruel world.
There’s a lot to hope for in this world, but this is what I hope for the most: that you’ve had a good life. I hope that you’ve had amazing time building new relationships and making new memories with the new people that you’ve met. I hope that you are excited to start the next stage in your life. There’s a lot to live for in this world, despite all of the destruction and madness in this world, and I hope that you found that happiness since I’ve been gone. I’m still looking for my true and pure source of happiness and meaning, but I hope that you’ve found yours.
If, in fact, you haven’t thought of yourself as doing anything spectacular or meaningful in your life, know this: you have made a mark in my life as permanent as a scar, and I will never forget you for that. You made my childhood a great one, a childhood worth reminiscing about.
I know that you have changed, because I think that I’ve changed immensely. In my mind, I’ve changed for the better because, if I were the same small girl from grade school or middle school, I think that I wouldn’t have been able to survive. You don’t know what I’ve become, but maybe you will someday if in fact, we do get to see each other later.
Thank you for being a part of my life. And whether I see you again or not, remember that I do think about you, that you have not evaporated from my mind. But I sincerely hope that I will meet you again.