Dear Trisha....no the old Trisha,

I think about you all the time. I think about what it was like to be you and then I think about how good I have it now and how great it is about to get. I realize this letter might not help but I still want you to hear it. Now I'm not going to tell you that "it's okay" or "everything happens for a reason" because you won't believe them, but please just read this anyway because I am the only person who knows what you are feeling right now.

I want you to know that I remember how you feel and I have never forgotten what it was like to sit in that gym or that church. I remember how dangerous your thoughts would become at night. I also remember how the simplest things could make you happy and how you would cling to those memories. The point is I remember those things and I want you to know that once high school or middle school is over you will go to college and your life will be so much easier. The anxiety won't be gone and the depression will make an appearance every now and again but you will have control of your mind again.

There is not one word that can describe how you feel right now but soon you will find something that makes the pain go away for some time and you're going to completely immerse yourself in. The questions that you have about yourself might not be answered yet but I'll figure them out and the things you're sure about yourself on will start to sway then completely fall to pieces but you will figure it out. Some of the feelings you have on a daily basis will stay with you while others will disappear only to appear when you think of them.

You're about to grow and change so much in next years and even though this probably wasn't a comfort it will be nice to know that I have been you and am sometimes still you.