The day that you walked into my life is a day that I will never forget. I know it sounds cheesy, but the way you looked at me with your blue eyes, I knew that this would hurt. For a long time, it didn't though. For a long time, I was happy with the way we were. I loved every minute of the time I spent with you, and being able to learn as much about you as you would let me. I got to see how kind you actually were, even though you didn't believe that you were. I watched you talk on the phone with people and how your eyes would light up when they said something funny. I saw how hard you worked at everything and it truly inspired me to be as hard of a worker as you. I was proud of all the things you did, even if it wasn't anything too impressive. I loved watching you talk about your work. You knew so much and loved what you did. I watched how you treated everyone with respect and kindness. I watched you laugh at the silly things that would come out of my mouth and I wanted to say even more funny things so I could make you laugh even more, just to see the smile that made me fall in love with you in the first place.
I put up walls at first, the way I always have, because I was scared to get hurt again. I've always been the kind of girl to wear her heart on her sleeve and believe the best in people, but before I even really realized it, you had gained my trust. I told you things about me that very few people knew. I told you all about my childhood and about my favorite memories as a child and some memories that I'd rather forget. You knew everything about my life in just a few shorts months. I learned about your childhood and some of your favorite memories. I saw how much you took pride in the things you loved, even if you weren't the type of man to brag. I liked that about you. Even though my friends weren't the biggest fans of you, they'll never know you in the same way that I did. They never understood what I saw in you, but I could see the kind of man that you really were. You were kind, generous, soft-hearted, funny, hard working, talented, and someone who I thought the world of. The days that you were busy with work, I missed your texts in my inbox. Just seeing your name on my phone or your smile was enough to make any bad day better.
On the days we fought, it hurt my heart. I didn't like fighting with you, and now I wish that I hadn't picked so many of those fights. But there were so many moments where I had doubted your feelings for me. Growing up, I've had people who promised they would never leave, do just that. So many people that I trusted just up and left my life as though I didn't mean anything. So many friendships and relationships down the drain. But even when we fought and I would say we were done, you were still always there. You were there for every happy moment, as well as every sad moment. When I wanted a break, you gave me my space, but were there waiting when I came back with a broken heart. You were one of my best friends, so not having you in my life will leave a hole that will never be filled in the same way again. But I can't begin to explain to you how much you meant to me.
The last day I saw you, my heart was breaking. I knew we'd have to say good bye and that it would be the last time we'd probably ever see each other. It hurt to even look you in the eyes, but when I did, seeing the blue eyes that I've come to love so much looking back at me, it took everything I had not to break down like I had been when you weren't around. Our last hug and kiss is something that I still think about after all this time. I wish I could go back and pause that moment and never let you go. I know I told you that it would help me get over you, but to be completely honest, I don't know if I'll ever be fully over you. I still get excited when my phone goes off and think it's you. When I wake up in the morning, I forget what happened for a little bit and when I remember, my heart breaks all over again. But I know that this pain is for a reason and that you have your reasons for moving on.
So here comes the hard part right? The part where I tell you how much I love you and how much I will miss you. It's all true. I spent so many days having you by my side, and no matter where I go in life, I will always miss you and the way you looked at me when we drove through the back roads in your truck. I'll miss the way you hugged me and how your lips felt on my forehead. I'll miss the little moments when you'd make fun of me for something I said or did. I'll miss you. But I have to say that it was a privilege to have you in my life for the time that I did. For as long as I live, you will always have a piece of my heart. No matter where I go in life, or who I move on with, you will have had a part in forming the person I am. I hope that life brings you nothing but bushels of happiness and I hope that one day you see yourself in the same way that I've seen you this whole time. You will always have a special place in my heart, and I hope that sometimes you think of me and smile at our memories because I always will.
Love,
The girl who loved you then and loves you still
