Dear Heartbreaker,
In all honesty, I wonder what the appeal to you is. Why is it that no matter how hard we try, we always end up running back to the person that broke us in the first place, and ask them to fix us? You took my heart and stomped on it. You sat back and watched as I picked up the pieces, attempting to put the puzzle pieces back together until finally, I came running to you for help, like a child who needs help tying their shoes.
I like to think that maybe you’re oblivious to what you’re doing. Maybe you’re not aware of the broken hearts lying on the floor next to you, because you don’t bother picking them up when you walk away. But if you are aware, if you know which hearts ache because of you, I hope you don’t enjoy it. What could possibly be enjoyable about someone’s sadness? What could possibly be enjoyable about looking someone in the face, someone who loves you more than they love themselves, and pretending you love them back without feeling remorse?
Are you hurting? If you are hurting in some other way, and you choose to hide it from the world, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t understand your pain and I’m sorry that I was in the way when you were most vulnerable. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to soothe your pain, as you could do for me for a short while. I wonder if you have ever had your heart broken. I surely hope you haven't, for it would be cruel to know the feeling of a broken heart and still cause that sort of pain to others. However, if you have had your heart broken, I hope this is not your revenge.
There will always be a part of me that loves you with every ounce of my soul. You were there for me when no one else was, you offered both your shoulders when other people would shy away, and you let me give myself to you with the three words I loved hearing you say. However, I’m older and wiser now. I know you will never change. Maybe someday down the road you will meet someone who will fix your heart completely and never tempt you to break another one such as mine. But right now, you will not change. No matter how many times I let you back in my life with the thought that your promise of not hurting me will finally be kept, you will break me down little by little until you have all of me in your hand, crumpled up like the love letters you wrote to no one and everyone.
You, heartbreaker, should learn to love yourself. You are so dismayed by the people that love you that you refuse to let them in. Know yourself, know your worth. You have the potential to be worth everything and more. Thank you for teaching me a lesson. Because of you, I know myself and my worth.
Now it’s your turn.
All my love and none of my love,
The Broken Hearted