I think I depended on you for my happiness too much. You were my safe person, the person who I felt comfort in telling everything to. The person who never judged me but always made me feel like I belonged. You were the type of person everyone loved being around. You were my person for so long & maybe that's why it hurt so much.

I remember being so happy when I was around you. Like nothing could ever possibly go wrong. You made everything feel better, you made life worth living. Every second with you was an adventure -- a very fun, thrilling adventure.

So I thought.

The day you decided I wasn't the one for you, or should I say, the countless times you decided you didn't want to be with me, hurt me. Hurt me in a way that I don't think you could ever understand. After all, how can someone tell you they love you & the next day want nothing to do with you?

You put me through so much pain, so much. From telling me you loved me and then being in bed with another girl. From buying me sodas every morning to throwing my personal business out in the open for everyone to know. From us making so many plans & memories to us arguing every night about the same things.

You hurt me in a way that I could never forget. But the worst thing is, for awhile after you hurt me, I continued to love you. I continued to wonder if you were okay. I continued to wonder what you were doing. I continued to wonder how your family was. I continued to justify your mistakes. For awhile, I made excuses up for you. I even blamed myself for your actions.

After you left, it was hard. You moved on really quick, very quick actually. I remember questioning what was wrong with me to make you not want me. I remember crying until my eyes were swollen. I remember wanting to die. I remember not eating. I remember thinking I wasn't good enough. I remember questioning my self worth. But the sadness went away, eventually. I wasn't sad when I saw you with another female. I wasn't sad when you wouldn't text me back. I wasn't sad when you never answered when I would call. I wasn't sad when I saw you around.

I was mad.

I was mad at the fact that you could love & be happy with another girl, but couldn't with me. I was mad at the fact that you didn't have enough decency to call or text back. I was mad that you could act so fine with your actions, so content. I was mad at the fact that I gave you everything I possibly could & it still wasn't enough to satisfy you. I soon realized something. Something that made me have a whole new outlook on the way things turned out.

You were selfish & you put yourself & your happiness before anyone else. You also, don't love yourself. & how could I expect you to love me when you don't even love yourself?

After I realized that, I realized, nothing was wrong with me. I wasn't a bad girlfriend. I didn't do anything wrong, it was you. You weren't capable of loving anyone else but yourself. I thought I could change you, but you can't change a person. Love cannot save a person.

I feel bad for you at times, I really do. You won't get to experience a real loving relationship with anyone until you learn to love yourself & not be so selfish all the time. & the sad part is, I cannot help you, no one can.

With all of that being said, if you read this, I would personally like to thank you. Thank you for making me question my worth. Thank you for leaving, it made me start to love myself. Thank you for picking someone else over me, it showed me not to believe every word someone says to me. Thank you for allowing me to go through so much pain, it made me so much stronger.

I wish you all the luck in life. I wish you nothing but happiness & I hope you never have to endure the hurtfulness that I did from you.