To the guy that broke my heart,

I fell for you. I fell for the guy that I met two years ago, the guy who was a challenge, the guy who was also really sweet and sensitive. Who made me feel special. But who was also very deceiving. After you spent months making me feel like your one and only and calling me your girlfriend I later found out that I was not the only one. This was the first time you shattered my heart in a way it had never been broken before. Your sweet words and long lies later made me forgive you for this. Then you did it again, and I forgave you….again. After all of this I became manipulated as if I was in an abusive relationship not physically but mentally. How could I love someone and continue to forgive someone who so easily tore my heart into a million pieces. After this you spent the summer with me, stayed in my house became apart of my everyday, became apart of my family. I hid all the secrets from them because I wanted them to love you as much as I did. I made you seem perfect and incredible in every way. I dedicated my life, my heart and soul to you and our relationship. Why? Because you really were different to me, you gave me a twisted form of this crazy love I had never felt before. You made me feel on top of the world but also so sad that getting out of bed was a literal obstacle. The power to destroy me is what I gave you and destroy is exactly what you did. I don’t know if you’ve ever been loved the way I loved you but I know how much you took advantage of it. After this perfect summer we left for college, going to different schools and it all changed. You became distant within the first week, treated me like I didn’t matter and like you were fine without me. I later found out that you had been keeping yourself company with more girls and you did not need us anymore because you had the attention of others. Again I forgave you, I fell for you again. I fell for your lies, I fell for your empty promises. We then spent the rest of the year on a roller coasting going up and down. One week I was on top of the world the next my anxiety consumed me. I couldn’t escape you though. After all the times I tried, I could never leave, I could never completely leave you behind. After the biggest lie of all time. I spent the past three days in bed crying, not eating, just forcing myself to sleep for days straight so broken so betrayed. I shouldn’t have ever felt this way, I should feel cared for and secure all the time but its always a game with you and that is not love. I don’t deserve this kind of love I deserve someone who loves me the same way I love them, and would never hurt me the way you have. You don’t know how to love, all you know what to do is leave. I mean can I blame you? That’s all you have done your entire life was leave and be left. You don’t know how to have solid grounds you don’t know what consistency is. I wish I could fix you but I can’t, no one can. I don’t know what I meant to you but I want to mean enough to someone that they will never hurt me the way you did over and over again. I want a greater love, a healthy love. I don’t want to be lied to, cheated on, ignored, called names, and manipulated by the person who is supposed to love me. I fell for you because I thought I saw the good in you but the good was all made up, it was like watching a movie and falling in love with a character but then realizing the actor playing their part was the complete opposite. It was unhealthy, twisted and exhausting loving you. You don’t allow anyone to be close you don’t allow anyone to really know you. But I figured you out, I finally did. You are not what I want, or who I want to love. You are a cold person all the way down to the bone. You don’t know how to love and you never will so I am glad I escaped while I could. You will try to blame me and make me feel like I was the fault in everything but that isn’t the case. If you loved me then you would try harder and wouldn’t give up or do any of the things you did to me. So goodbye I deserve a man better than you in every single way. Im letting go because I will not allow you to destroy me anymore. Goodbye to the guy who broke my heart. Don’t go a second thinking I need you because I promise I will be just fine.

Sincerely,

The girl that deserves better.

ps.

This letter was written months ago and just like she promised the girl that deserves better is exactly that, just fine without you. Even better she has learned to care again, to trust again and is working on herself in all the ways she couldn't while carrying the negative weight of you around.