Dear ______,
I don’t want to be your girl anymore. This originally started as a letter to the guy I cannot let go of. But this has turned into something different. You are the guy I have to let go of. I will never receive what I need from you. You will never love me the way that I deserve to be loved, maybe I always will love you more than I should. But I can no longer attach myself to you. I can no longer rely on you or put my heart in your hands. You have broken my heart too many times and I have forgiven you too many times. You have walked away. You have used me. You have made me believe that I meant more to you than I actually did.
You used to give me hundreds of reasons to stay. Then the reasons to leave started to build up. The reasons that things just weren’t going to work out. Then you said one line to me. It was a night full of mindless chatter as usual as I talked about what I wanted in life. I wanted laughter, forehead kisses and a beautiful wedding. And all you said was, “Then go get it.” In that moment I realized I was trying to get something out of nothing; I was trying to force something that was never going to happen. If I want happiness, if I wanted forehead kisses, cuddle sessions and a beautiful wedding, it’s time to move on. It’s time to stop forcing the past. It’s time to let go of my ghosts and jump into the unknown. Because all those things can be found, just not where I am digging. I have to thank you for waking me up, waking me up from this day dream that I need to let go of. Thank you for finally slapping me in the face to look at reality.
So all those nights I told you I could never leave, and I believed I couldn’t. All those nights you took for granted because you knew I could never get over you, that I would follow you to hell and back. You always knew I couldn’t let go of you. But today is when I decide to be stronger, to walk away from what is holding me back. Thank you for being there for me for so long, but there is no thank you for making me feel like a burden. There is no thank you for playing games with my heart, for treating me like a toy that you could always come back to. There was a human attached to those text messages and you changed the way I look at that.
But underneath it all, there is a thank you for making me love you. For teaching me all these lessons. Most of all, for teaching me that I deserve so much more. Thank you for showing me that I need to make myself happy as well, not just others. Most of all, thank you for the moments that did give me a reason to stay. Thank you for being what I needed at the time and doing so much for me. I am walking away now because I would like to remember you like, not like this. Thank you for the time you did "gift me," but I no longer need the games in my life.
You have now lost the person who was willing to go through anything because I finally realized you didn't care as much as I did.
With Love,
The girl who loved you more than you loved her