I hope you’re doing well. It’s a cliché, blanket statement. But I sincerely hope that your life has at least turned a few positive pages since we last encountered one another. I hope that you are being appreciated for your unique features instead of feeling as though the world wants to fine-tune you into their idea of what you should be. I want you to know that you have significantly impacted a life just by being you.
I want the girl who consistently listed her safety level as a 2/10 to know that, although soft-spoken, her incremental honesty spoke volumes to the group. I speak for most of us when I say that I labeled my safety levels higher every day in order to get the Hell out of that hospital. You took the rehabilitation seriously, acknowledging your limits without hesitation. Earning the respect of your nurses and fellow patients without uttering more than five words a day and having the decency to admit that you didn’t feel as though it was safe for you to be around others, is something hard to find in a tightly packed corridor of Vitamin-D-deficient girls. From one diagnosed sister to another, your maturity and integrity inspires me every single day to be honest with myself and with others for the betterment of all parties. And I want you to know that you have significantly impacted a life just by being you.
I want the girl who attempted suicide to know how valuable her friendship has been to me over the past two years. I want her to know how her contagious laugh has visited me when I needed to hear it the most, making me smile in spite of myself. You are a source of energy and joy for others, even if you aren’t for yourself. Initiating contact with the quiet girl in the group is typically a guaranteed dead end but somehow you managed to break through my walls like nobody ever had before. No matter how much time passes before one of us contacts the other, we can always pick up right where we left off without a question. Having someone take the time to learn about my fears, dreams, passions, and goals wasn’t the type of relationship I was accustomed to before we met. It is my hope that one day the confidence you have instilled in me is one that you can have reflected in yourself. And I want you to know that you have significantly impacted a life just by being you.
I want the girl who felt misunderstood to know that there is a great blessing in being a mystery to those around you. You were the first person I confided to about my individual trials and you were the first person to open up to me. Holding one another accountable of our actions and having each other’s backs throughout the rehabilitation process was a much-needed source of companionship that I can still appreciate today. Radiating love and understanding everywhere you go while feeling broken and confused inside is exhausting. I know it is. And feeling confined to the expectation to be both immune to hostility yet still have the strength to fight back is overwhelming, especially when there’s already a lot happening in your head. When I look at the watercolor painting you sent me just over a year ago, I am reminded of your friendship in a time and place where I needed it the most. I am reminded of the beauty to be found in societal imperfections and to keep an open mind when confronted with any situation. And I want you to know that you have significantly impacted a life just by being you.
I want all the girls who were hospitalized in December 2014 to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. While the dark crevices of our mind illicit a sense of loneliness or worthlessness, we can, and will, overcome it. There isn’t one person that can stop us aside from ourselves. And if we embrace the strength that runs through our veins, taking on each challenge with the mindset that ‘it will get better,’ there’s nothing we can’t do. But, if we expect everything to disappear within a week of isolation, this unrealistic fantasy will seem like a failed attempt. Instead, try to view it as a chance to practice self-reflection and dig deeper into yourself without fear of obligations or expectations. Through my experience, I found myself to be more naïve and vulnerable than I’d ever realized. I came out of the three-story brick building after two weeks with optimism and purpose, driven to get myself out of the toxic state of mind that had made me want to run into traffic and end my life. Ultimately, I hope you’re treating yourselves kindly and taking each day as an opportunity to change something for the better. All of your unique qualities have attributed to the way you influence those around you and those are the parts of you that you should unequivocally embrace. And whether you realize it or not, all of you have significantly impacted a life just by being you.