It's simple really, the concept of family. It's defined by Webster as a group of people who relate to each other. Ask any angst-filled teenager and they will tell you that no one relates to them, but in all honesty, you almost never relate to your family members other than blood. Blood is supposed to be one of the strongest holds, but to many people, many family members, that never entirely hit home.It's not just about the fact that we are blood or that we are related, but that you were supposed to be here. You were supposed to be part of my life, and you destroyed that. I am very aware that writing this article will upset some people, in fact, I'm counting on it, but it's about time this all came out. Everyone deserves to be knocked off their pedestal once in a while.
I don't care who you are, who you think you are, or if you're their sibling, aunt, grandpa, uncle, cousin, or parent, DO NOT enter into someone's life, especially a child's, if you have no intention of staying. If you're going to meet them and them leave, get out now. If you aren't in it for the long haul, turn around and walk back out of their life. Do not pretend to care about them or pretend you love them, just leave. There will still be some damage, but it's better in the long run.
There are consequences for every action. You can't just leave and then expect to come back unscathed. You left. Quite honestly, it's probably easier if you'd stay gone. Coming back will eat away at the person you left. It will rip them to shreds when you leave the first time, so if they feel truly abandoned, when you come back they will follow you from room to room making sure you don't leave again. I know this personally. It's a constant worry that they'll slip out the back door or they will leave to go to the store and not come back.
You're supposed to be there for the ones you love, not leave when stuff gets hard. I get it, I totally understand your situation. She was gone, the one person you loved more than anything (or so we all thought) was gone. It was understandable how you reacted. What wasn't understandable was spending months with me and spending time with me and then stopping when you got a new girlfriend. I was your granddaughter, and I was okay with you dating. I was 14 and you broke my heart. You knew how much I couldn't handle being left again, and you still did it. As my 20th birthday approaches, I feel worse about it. Because when you stopped talking to me, you started to get involved with them. Not only did you turn your back on me, you replaced me. Just like she did.
Some of you were actually forgiven, until you weren't anymore. This upset me more than you will ever know. You completely cut me out. Entirely. Because you decided I wasn't worthy of being in your life, you did two things that were so wrong you will never be forgiven. Tell me, how much did your high school graduation mean to you? Mine was important. You missed the first 15 years of my life, and did not go to my high school graduation. My brother came though. You know, the one who'd only known me for four years. How about this one? Everyone neglected to tell me that she was sick. Really sick. Not only did you not let me know that it was bad, but no one told me that she was gone. I missed a funeral. A family funeral. You aren't forgiven. Not even close because I had to find out on Facebook a month later.
Life has taught me many things so far. Mostly just that horrible people can hide behind a family name and make themselves feel like they belong. You may look great to your friends or your shiny new girlfriend, but you still look bad from here. I don't care if you hate this letter, I don't care if it makes you mad, and I really don't care if it makes you cry. You weren't ever concerned about my feelings or what would happen to me if you walked out, but you did it anyway. This is not an invitation to walk back into my life. Don't try, it won't happen.
