There comes a time in every athlete's life when all the practices and games come to an end. There are the select few who are lucky enough to continue their sport professionally, but for those of us that reach our senior year of college, it can be hard to realize it's actually over. We all go through it a little differently. People cope in different ways. It's even harder when your career is cut short because of an injury.
Number seven. I wouldn’t call it lucky number seven, though. Thirteen years of playing the sport I loved, it was all over when I received you — my 7th, and final, concussion. You weren't even the worst one I've had. It was a soft little blow to the chin, but everything went dark. I thought I was fine. I really wasn't.
It took weeks for me to come to terms with the fact that I may never be able to play again. My teammates were by my side through it all, but it was still hard. It wasn’t just the liability I was to school, it was the fact that I wasn’t able to run without feeling dizzy, I couldn’t turn my head without losing my vision, and my eyes wouldn’t focus on the field like they use too. I never understood how serious the concussions I received were until I received you. You caused me a lot of pain, but I don’t hold a grudge.
I'm not mad, I am actually thankful for you. You opened up new doors for me. I would not have an internship right now if it weren’t for you. I would still be focused only on soccer. You helped me realize there is more to life than just soccer and you helped me find my love for running again. You helped me find my passion for writing. You helped me realize I love my desired career path. You allowed me strengthen myself mentally and emotionally, rather than just physically
I miss soccer more and more every day. I would love to get back out and play again. I would love to win another championship with my team. I would love to be able to have the feeling of setting up an amazing play just one more time. I know none of that is in the cards for me anymore. So, I will never hate you. I will never be mad it happened. The symptoms you gave me are still there; they will always be there, but I am grateful to you, even if I don’t always show it.
With love,
Jennifer
