Dear Middle School Bully,

I don’t hate you. I don’t have room in my heart to hate you, even though no one could blame me if I did. I decided to write this letter because I am no longer ashamed to admit that I was bullied, but you should still be ashamed to admit that you were a bully. The sad thing is that I’m not even sure you remember how harshly you tormented me for two or three years of my life. Do you?

Do you remember that you said, “Kill yourself, no one would care” to me on at recess in fifth grade?

Do you remember shooting paper hornets and flinging rubber bands at me?

Do you remember when you and your friends crowded around my desk during third period to call me ugly, nerd, etc.?

Do you remember when your friend stole my book in science class just so you could taunt me with it on the bus?

Do you remember cruelly laughing at me for sitting alone at lunch?

Do you remember the backward and disrespectful “compliment” you said to my friend about me? (“Your blonde friend, she’s ugly as f***, but has a nice a**”).

Do you remember walking into me in the hallway because I as invisible to you?

Now, do you remember?

It’s unfair that you got out unscathed, but I still am scarred by the things you said and did. What is not unfair, however, is that I am seen as strong and a fighter because of what you did to me, while all you are is a bully. That is all you will ever be. You can’t take back your words or undo your action. Even after everything, I don’t have resentment towards you though because I refuse to put myself on the same level as you. At the same time, however, I wish for you to remember the ways you hurt me. I hope you are ashamed for the pain you put me through.

I want you to know that I self-harmed for the first time because of what you said.

In middle school, a time when you are trying to find yourself, you made me lose myself even more and hate the things I did discover about myself. Thinking about it now, I shouldn’t have taken to heart the things that you said to me because I realize now that caring about your opinion means that I would care about you, and I don’t. Like I said, I don’t hate you and I don’t wish anything horrible upon you, but I do want you to have trouble falling asleep at night because your words haunt you.

I want you to wake up in the middle of the night angry at yourself because you finally realized the significant impact you had on me. I want you to regret the nasty things you said to me. But if you don’t, it just shows that you really are as heartless as I once thought you were. I hope you stumble upon this letter and click it out of curiosity. I hope you read it, and all of the raw emotion hits you like a tidal wave. I hope you realize the damage you have done.

Even if years from now you came up to me in a bar or at a restaurant and apologize for all you put me through, I wouldn’t accept it. Want to know why? Because I don’t have to. Because I am more than you. It’s ironic how I feel as if that is rude for me to say, but you never thought twice about what you said to me. Writing this letter does not make me feel like a bad person though. It makes me feel like I am finally free from the prison you trapped me in years ago. I am not your words. I am not your actions. I am strong as a result of those things. You cannot take that away from me.

At this point in my life, I want to release a lot of the negativity I have held inside for so long. I want to use my struggles in a positive way. I have matured into a young woman who has the world at her fingertips. But you, you have a lot to learn about life. You need to realize that the things you say and do affect people. You need to grow into a mature person who aids the hurt rather than wound them further.

If you knew that you hurt so many people, would you continue to be the person you are?

Sincerely,

The girl who is stronger because of you.