Dear You,
It’s been a good week since we’ve actually held a conversation that lasted more than a few back and forth text messages. Normally I’m a horrible texter, but when it came to you, I went out of my way to communicate. I knew I wouldn’t be seeing you much this summer since you’re up north and I’m down toward the beach, therefore I tried me hardest to put in effort for you. In reality, if you really wanted me up there, I would've came. I have a Jeep and I love driving, which means 61 miles isn't far for me. I wouldn't even mind paying $20 for gas to trek up to you. I was willing to give it all up and make something out of us, but now it's mid-June and I haven't seen you in more than a month. I thought that your feelings for me were mutual and we would be able to make this work. Especially since we spent every second up each other's ass for the last week of school. I found that I was actually falling for you and it was terrifying.
In that week, so much changed for me. I learned how to play chess overnight with you and in that same night we spent hours writing poetry (even one about another girl you had a thing for). Remember all that time we invested in playing "Smash Bros?" I only beat you once. Yet, what really stood out to me about you was how much we had in common. I never clicked with someone so quickly or opened up like that before; it was magical. Actually, it was surreal how many qualities we shared. Your mindset met mine, your interests, and you even had long hair like me (but yours looked much better in a bun). I wish my heart wasn't so caught up in you, because now that I've had weeks without you, I've noticed that you aren't the guy that I was falling for at all.
As the days went by and I sat in my bedroom playing DS alone, I noticed that something was off. No, it wasn't that fact that we weren't sitting in your dorm room together side by side writing in our journals. It was more so the fact that we weren't communicating at all. I barely received anything from you. Texts were sparse, no calls, or a letter (you did tell me you'd write me letters, but I'm still waiting on it). Broken promises were kind of your thing. I never believed my friend when he told me that you weren't all you're cracked up to be. I was blinded by that kind heart and those light eyes. I knew in my gut that you were too good to be true, but my heart wasn't strong enough to turn you down.
So now I'm just sitting here, uneasy. You don't seem to get what I'm trying to tell you and in all honesty I don't think you want to understand me. If the words you said to me were as genuine as you made them to be, you would've never lost interest. We could've turned this little bud into a beautiful flower, but sometimes you can't save a flower after the roots get tangled up and torn. Well, goodbye, temporary roommate. Our journeys together for that short time were filled with joy and I wish you were able to really see who I am and stop trying to make me, Tori, someone I am not. Ah, if only my passive behavior didn't turn you off and make you unsure of me. I wish you would let me explain it better to you, but my words are too barbaric to enter your fresh ears.
Enjoy the rest of your life outside of college, and try not to stop by unless you have a mug filled with tea and the time to listen to my words and absorb them.
