Dear Texas,

This is a letter to let know you about the current crisis happening. You have ruined everything. As much as I appreciate everything here being bigger and better, I do not appreciate the larger numbers on the thermometer. Yes, heat is expected in the summer especially this close to the equator than the rest of America, but this is crazy. There is not a fan large enough or deodorant strong enough or glass of water tall enough to prevent us Texans from burning in the heat. Not only that, there is a reason clothing is meant to be worn. And when this sort of heat strikes, less clothing is worn when a lot of the time, more should be worn on some. None of these are good results, Texas!

In trying to cool off, we fail every time. People may think, “oh wow, it’s such a hot day outside, I should take a cool dip in the pool.” But, when toes are first dipped in with high expectations, the pool water is basically bath water. You’ve ruined pools in the summer. Since we can’t utilize our nice holes in the ground filled with bath water, we try and at least go outside. However, sunscreen melts off our bodies, and by the next day, we are tomatoes. Not to mention the fact that we have embarrassing sweat stains on our clothes. We might as well forget wearing colors that show sweat easily and throw them in the garbage now. Texas, this is just cruel.

Since I can’t even think about stepping out into the blistering heat, the least I can do is attempt to eat food that cools me off on the inside. But you ruin that too, Texas. If I want ice cream, I have to make sure I stay inside to eat it. What a cruel, cruel thing you’ve done to me. I just want to enjoy ice cream or maybe a snow cone or maybe have my ice keep its shape in my drink. Every food I eat turns into an episode of CSI: messy, scary, and deadly.

For as many reasons I like you, I just wanted you to be aware of your major mishaps. I would really appreciate it if you could provide me with more shade, more air conditioning, or just less heat. Either way, something has got to change.

Sincerely,

Melting Texas Residents