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Health and Wellness

A Conversation With My 17-Year-Old Self

What happened when I read a letter from my past

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It's funny how much can change in four years while a lot seems to stay exactly the same. When I look back at my 2014 self, I almost feel like I'm looking at a completely different person: someone whose biggest concern was where I was applying to college, what I was wearing to prom, and my grade on a math quiz. In many ways, I am now completely changed from the girl I was at 17 and often find it hard to believe it was only a few years ago.

A few weeks ago, my parents gave me a letter that had been mailed to their house and addressed to me. My dad had opened the envelope after seeing the logo of my old high school, only to find a piece of paper with bold letters across the page exclaiming, "PARENTS: if you see this DO NOT open it. Seriously, I'll be mad." I suppose my stern warning worked because my parents handed me an unopened letter.

When I first got the letter, I was completely taken aback. I remembered my Portuguese teacher in high school having all of us write letters to our future selves, but I did not expect to see it in only a few years. While I was extremely excited to open it and read all about my hopes and dreams for myself, I also thought there would be no surprises – I hadn't changed that much since high school, and could still clearly remember who I was four years back.

The letter I had written myself was longer than I had remembered: a double-sided page filled with tiny handwriting. Like I had expected, I had written about my hopes for the future ("are you still writing? Are you at a college you love?") and wondered how different my life would be by the time I read the letter. As I read on, I started to feel the strange sensation that I was truly having a conversation with myself from the past. "I hope your life is as wonderful as we imagined," I wrote, "but I also hope you never forget who you were at 17."

Weirdly, it felt like I had read the letter at just the right time in my life. Reading through my hopes for the future reassured me that my 17-years-old self would be proud of who I am today. While I may feel like a totally different person, the letter made me realize the importance of remembering who I am and where I came from. More than anything, it showed me that I'm not too far off from the 17-years-old girl I once was and that she's still looking out for me.

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