Take a deep breath. Relax and know that everything will be okay.
I know how much it hurts. I know you feel like you don’t belong. You feel like you’re drowning and there isn’t a life-vest or a rescue boat for miles. It’s dark. It’s desolate. It’s lonely. This fight feels endless and sometimes you just want to give it all up. It would be so much easier if you could just make it stop, right?
No.
You are far too young to hate yourself this much, pretty girl. You have so much life left to live. You’re going to see and do things you can’t even imagine. There’s a whole wide world outside that town you’ve come to resent so much. You were meant to see it.
You were meant for so much more than crying yourself to sleep at night. I see the way it hurts you. I see the show you put on every day for friends, family, teachers, and classmates. You’re just a kid. Your life is just beginning, so please, please, don’t try to cut it short. You don’t deserve the scars you give yourself. You deserve to be held and told that everything will be alright. Because it will. It will get so much better.
I know you think that you’re worthless. I know you think if you just try hard enough to be perfect, it’ll all get better. It won’t. Embrace your imperfection. Revel in it. That’s what makes you human. That’s what makes you alive. That erratic heartbeat in your chest? It means that you’re living. Every single day that you choose life, you’re conquering the darkness that tries to drown you. Don’t try to live up to anyone else’s standards, but create your own instead. Just do your best, sweetheart. I promise you, you’re doing a better job than you think. One day you’re going to realize that what other people say and think doesn’t matter half as much as how you view yourself. Don’t be your own worst enemy, build yourself to greatness.
I know you feel pain. I know you think you deserve it, but you don’t. Sometimes you feel like you’ve grown up too fast. You long for that innocence, that time when everything seemed so easy and carefree. It’s not too late to have that again.
These years are supposed to be full of wonder and finding yourself. I’m not going to tell you that it’ll all be easy, because it won’t. Nothing worth having ever comes easy. You’ll have bad days, everyone does. But try to remember that one bad day doesn’t negate all of the good things in your life. Every time you get knocked down, just get back up and try again. Live your life so that when you look back on it years from now, you can honestly say that you don’t have a single regret. Do what makes you happy, every single day. Remember that you’re still growing up. You have so much to learn, so don’t be so hard on yourself when things go wrong.
Most of all, don’t ever stop fighting. I know some days feel like an uphill battle. But every small victory brings you one step closer to winning the war against yourself. It can be a scary fight, but I know you have it in you to be victorious.
Be brave.
Love,
Me