This week was my mom's birthday; another milestone to celebrate together and a chance to try to outdo last year's festivities. Her birthdays have included concerts, vacations, movie marathons, a day solely about her which is rare because she's a single mom. It is often me who is put first, my needs and wants being met on a day to day basis.
My mom has always been my constant when everything else was changing, the one person I knew was undoubtedly supportive. However, she always puts others first. Hearing from other friends with single moms this seems to be a common trait. No matter how many children this mom has, they always meet the child's needs before their own. Rarely is a moment about them let alone an entire day. Growing up, my mom often joked that when she was hungry, she would feed the baby; when she was cold, she'd give the baby a blanket and so on. I often laughed with her at this, though there is much more truth to this than anyone realizes. Single moms, and dads for that matter, often sacrifice relationships, time, food, money, and rest for their children.
I can recall countless times when my mom would cook what I wanted to eat for dinner, give me her sweater to borrow, buy me new clothes when hers all had holes or stains, most likely from my doing. All mothers do this, but it often means more sacrifice when you have a single mother. That single mother will do anything for you. She is not only your mom but sole breadwinner, provider, and caretaker. She knows you only have her and will do her best to ensure you don't live life missing anything. A single mother will provide more intangible values than many kids get from their two parent homes, and if nothing else, their work ethic will be immeasurable.
So, to all the single moms out there: thank you. Your work is not unrecognized. Though you may not always feel like it, you truly are wonder woman and your efforts mean more fo your kids than they may know how to express. If your kids are young, they may not realize all you do, but they one day will, and will be better for it. By playing the role of mother and father, you are teaching your children responsibility, love, compassion, respect, and the importance of family simply through your ability to love and support your kids. Your kids are the luckiest in the world simply because they have you, and you are enough.
To my own mom, I love you and recognize the vast work you do and the amount effort going into it. Thank you for being my everything, and being more than enough.
To the children of single moms, take a moment to thank the woman who not only suffered to bring you into the world, but continues to keep you thriving in it. And, you know, maybe take a minute to do the dishes or something. Moms like that.
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1. Please just be seasonal allergies
You wake up feeling icky one morning and think “Oh it must be allergies, I bet I’m fine.”
2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night
You go through your day as normal, but you feel gross and more tired than usual.
3. I’ll just take a little nap
You finally get back from class and work and think “Oh, I’m just going to lie down in bed for a little bit.”
4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!
You wake up and realize you slept six hours, it is now 11 pm and you have done none of your homework.
5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off
You stay up until 3 am doing the homework and finally get to go to sleep, you think “Oh I’ll be better in the morning” (clearly you’re in denial).
6. Do I have to be responsible today?
You wake up that morning, you have slept through your alarm and don’t even want to get up.
7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick
You start thinking, “maybe this isn’t allergies.”
8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine
You throw on clothes really quick, go to your classes (even though you’re late) and go to work anyway (still in denial).
9. This is the worst day of my life
You get back from class and work again and your nose is stuffed, you’re coughing and you feel dizzy.
10. Mom?
You call your mom because she always knows what to do.
11. She was right (like always)
She tells you to take your temperature, you do and you find out you have a fever.
12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow
You decide to take some medicine and sleep it off, because of course, you have to be better for class, work and any activity you have for the next day.
13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests
The next morning, you’re behind on classwork, you still have a fever, but you can’t miss your classes and you have a very busy day, so you go anyway.
14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever
The cycle continues, until it's either the weekend or you decide work and class can wait and you need a day to rest.
15. Finally, you're better!
Eventually, after being sick through class and work for about a week or so you’re finally better, and you pray that you don’t get sick again, only to do it all over the next month.
1. You only ask things once.
Asking to go to your friends house a second time is futile. In fact, it may make things worse.
2. Seriously, you only ask once.
You don’t get to go out Friday and Saturday, silly child. Choose one.
3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.
This significantly improves your chances of getting a yes. Pro tip: Doing extra chores helps.
4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.
Who are you going with? What time? Where are you going? Who else is going? Who are their parents? Where do they work? How long have they been there?
5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.
Prepare yourself for a lecture when you get home.
6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.
If you ever want to be able to go out again, you better go home on time.
7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.
Calls start coming the minute you’re late.
8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.
R.I.P. if you see two or more missed calls.
9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.
Because the one room they will not go in determines the cleanliness of the rest of the house.
10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.
Anything remotely inappropriate results in a 10 second joke turning into a 30 minute lecture.
11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"
Disclaimer: When you turn 18, it becomes, “My roof, my rules.”
12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.
Don't be that kid that gets caught by their parents driving somewhere they weren't supposed to be.
13. Don’t talk back. Ever.
I don’t care if you were told to hunt down the last unicorn in the world using a pot of gold stolen from the leprechaun at the end of a rainbow. Just do it.
14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.
Say your prayers.
15. Don’t make them call your name twice.
The second you hear your name being called, drop everything you’re doing and run.
16. Sleepovers are not a thing.
They just aren’t. Why sleep somewhere else when you have a bed at home?
17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.
They might not always show it, but they do.
1. Pets
Getting a pet is great -- cats, dogs, fish, or any sort of thing you can keep makes you care for something beyond yourself and gives you company. (Some are huggable, too!) As a pet owner, you can definitely tell when they’ve gotten into trouble … and sometimes you get a little weird with them. Non-pet owners just wouldn’t understand.
2. Mornings
Without parents to wake you up, how do you even? Or, you know, if you fall asleep at your desk studying because you're working hard. Rough life, man. And mornings were hard enough as it was.
3. Mistakes
We all make mistakes, Ross. It's fine. Whether you mixed your colored laundry with your whites, or you were cleaning and you bleached something that was not meant to be bleached, there's gonna be nobody at fault but you. And even if you're by yourself (or your cat is judging you), you have to own up to it, and move on.
4. Cooking for yourself
Nobody can do sarcasm like Phoebe. Cooking is very exciting in the beginning and all, but once you're at that stage in your life when you're too lazy to even make ramen, and all you have in your fridge is an empty milk carton and some leftovers from last week, well, it's a lot less fun.
5. Hosting
You've finally got a place where your friends can hang and people can come over! But see above. Cooking, cleaning, all that stuff you need to do to prepare for guests is harder than it seems, and if you keep telling yourself that pizza isn't a cop-out, then everything will work out.
6. Taking care of yourself
Just like Chandler, you might not be entirely aware of what health and sanitation is. It's fine, we've all been there. And it's a lot harder than it seems. You're not alone.
7. Holidays
Since you can go all out, you will, and there's nothing your roommates can do about it. Friendsgiving? Heck yeah! St. Patty's Day? Of course! And best of all, Halloween, where your space becomes the spookiest around (on a budget, of course, nobody's made of money).
8. Roommates
So maybe you don't live exactly alone. It's good to have a roommate, right? Especially if they're a good roommate, so you don't have to be picking up after them or complaining to your cat. And when you want to have a do-nothing day, they'll be there for you (and you'll be there for them too.)
9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done
Don't even pretend. That's hilarious. If you can study, good for you, but the rest of us will be over here not doing what we should and hanging out with our friends instead. And cramming and panicking later.
10. Cleaning
If you've ever cleaned a place after a party, you are a survivor, a true warrior. Even cleaning bathrooms or the nooks and crannies of your place before a parent visits will yield some interesting results, however. You never know what you'll find, but it's usually not pleasant.
11. Social life
There's only two modes here: #foreveralone or everything's coming up roses. Without supervision or even any sort of restriction, you can do what you want to when you want to. That means going out ... or staying in. You can do whatever.
I digress.
Point being, family is always there – on the good days, the bad days, and even the days that you forget to shower (thanks guys). They still remind you to tie your shoes before you leave the house, and they wake you up when your alarm goes off 6 times and you still haven’t gotten out of bed. They support you in the bad times, applaud you in the good times, and, of course, lovingly humiliate you in all the worst times.
Unless you’re my brother, who likes to strip down every ounce of pride and good character that I have left in my body after enduring a 15-week semester from hell.
Totally kidding. I love my brother. And my semester wasn’t actually personally gifted to me by Satan himself.
But that doesn’t negate the fact that during Thanksgiving break this year, he decided to tell me that I’m the family member with the “resting bitch face”.
“It’s not that bad,” he tried to tell me.
Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving.
What is it about the infamous “RBF” that makes some people just… have it? Why do I have one, but my mom doesn’t? Why does the girl across the hall have one, but her roommate doesn’t? Why does the cashier at Dairy Queen have one, but everyone who gets ice cream from her doesn’t?
It’s talent. It has to be.
I guess I don’t disagree with my brother. But he’s definitely the first one to have ever pointed it out. If you’re anything like me (and your brother tried to soften the blow by telling you that Pout-Pout Fish was “your book”), then you might resonate with these 7 things whenever someone asks you, “Do you know what an “RBF” is?"
1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.
I already know where this is going.
2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.
I mean, I’m not lying. I’m in college. “Tired” is just another thing that courses through my veins and keeps me alive – alongside caffeine, Netflix, and probably really cheap alcohol.
3. Or “I’m just thinking.”
Thinking about the next time I’m going to get food, probably. No really, I’m not mad. Just hungry.
4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.
My zone-out time is just really sacred, that’s all.
5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.
This one’s really convenient for all of us passive-aggressive introverts out there who hate drawing attention to ourselves.
6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.
Or maybe I do. Actually I don’t know. I hope I don’t.
7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”
Having a RBF can’t possibly be worse than having a creepy smile every time you zone out, can it?
I’ve learned that the nice thing about suffering from RBF is that it means alone time when you need it. Can’t be that bad, right? I mean, if it makes anyone more comfortable, I could start eerily smiling and laughing quietly to myself every time I zone out. But somehow I don’t think that would make the situation any less awkward. So instead, I’m just going to embrace my RBF for now. And maybe go read Pout-Pout Fish. But if I start to seem angry while I’m reading it, I promise I’m not. I’m probably just really into it.
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