Dear My Senior Year Bully,
I wonder what you are up to this year. I wonder if you are enjoying college or not but really I do not exactly care. You know senior year was supposed to be amazing and at the start of it all you were my best friend, by the end of the year you had it out for me. You wanted to make me feel as insignificant and as low as possible. Well, guess what you succeeded. Senior year for me was hell, an actual significant hell. You made me feel as if I meant nothing to anyone. You made me feel as if I was the dirt underneath your shoe that you can just walk all over without a second thought.
I want to take a second to revisit the time that we were best friends. I would have done everything that I possibly could to gain your approval. I just wanted you to look at me and think, "wow my best friend is so cool." During this time of being your best friend I lost myself. I lost who I was and I became this person that I did not like even a little bit. I became mean, almost petty and took joy at being exactly like you. You and I, we were high school mean girls. We were a team. We were best friends. The thing was you did not see me as your best friend, you saw me as your friend when it was convenient. I was just a convenience. You knew that I would always be there for you come hell or high water, you used that to your advantage. Then one day you turned on me I was no longer someone you needed around or maybe I was just no longer convenient enough for you.
When you decided that I was no longer of value to you, you could have just left me in the cold. I genuinely wish you would have just cut off all ties and pretended that I did not exist but instead you decided to dig the knife of betrayal even deeper into the wound. The friends that I thought I had you talked about me to them, making fun of me behind my back. The thing you did not know was that those friends told me you were saying things, never what you said but that you had something to say. You would be rude and pretend as if I did not exist when I tried to speak to you, tried to rekindle the friendship we once have. At times I would think it would work, you would need me to help you out of a jam be that good friend that you needed by your side. Of course, that was all a charade. I meant nothing. All the back stabbing made me feel worthless and basically made me resent coming to school because I would have to see you. I would have to face you knowing that you hated me.
It has been almost a year since the wondering and self questioning. At college, I feel free. I have new friends, I have joined a sorority, I have found my place. I know exactly how I want to continue to live my life. I know that I will always want to be free of you. I will never want to feel the need to please a friend so much that I lose myself in the process. I have changed form that petty follower high school mean girl. I have found real friends who I can depend on no matter what. I have found my place and I only have you to thank for that.
This letter was not written so that I could feel sorry for myself or to make you feel good about yourself. This was written to thank you for your wicked ways so that I could finally move on and be me. I am no longer the victim but the successor. I wish you the very best. Have a good life.
Thank you
