Dear Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump,
Pardon my lack of formality, but in order to avoid wasting an unnecessary amount of time, as well as to ensure maximum clarity on the request I will be making, I will be bluntly stating my predicament with the pair of you in this letter. I will give a little background on the matter, though, for purposes of comprehension.
Prior to the Pennsylvania primaries, I was comfortable not being affiliated with either the Republican or Democratic party. Personally, one particular party affiliation does not play a larger role in my everyday life than another. Certain party sponsored or favored policies may affect me, but that is a more technical thing I am not going to get into. Anyways, I unfortunately did not register in time to vote in either the Democratic or Republican Primary (please hold all judgement until the end of this letter). Months later, I am more baffled than ever in my dilemma to choose a party. I know I could register Independent, but I have political beliefs that parallel ideologies in both major parties and really feel I would do more good registering with one of our nation’s two leading parties.
Here is where you two goons come into play. I have never been one to indulge in “reality” TV, but you two have created a whole new genre of T\television that is captivating the world. A genre that is, yes, reality, but also a complex combination of drama, action and adventure, gameshow, etc. Throw in the fact that one of you will soon have the codes to all the nucs and we got ourselves a thriller. Fundamentally, you both seem to be on the same page; keep our country safe, feed the children, decrease the deficit. After such considerations are made in your speeches, though, things get a little foggy. The explanations of the methods you believe are best to solve these problems get jumbled with your slurs of hypocrisy towards your counterpart. Meanwhile, your fellow party members, especially those in charge of public relations for the party, are running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to clean up the embarrassment.
Republican leaders have years of slights, so kindly organized by Jon Stewart, that prevent them from being believable endorsements for you, Mr. Trump. It is also more than a little unsettling that you dislike so many different groups of people. Why are we suppose to like you again? Meanwhile, your loose tongue via emails have some people concerned that you, Secretary Clinton, may be closer to prison than the White House.
The appalling truth is that neither of you have done a fair job at instilling a whole lot of confidence in our nation's citizens in regards to the future of our country. The antics are no longer amusing, but concerning. My request is simple; stop the charades. I miss the times when the most talked about thing in an election was Mitt Romney's spray tan. Time to get back to the important things because I really need my news app to be less cluttered and more informative.
May the odds be ever in your favor.