Despite the common misconception, Mother’s Day is not actually for all mothers. As many people in the world will agree, there are neglectful, abusive, and manipulative mothers who never truly stepped up and cared for the children they brought into the world. Whether it is because they left physically or were never there emotionally, there are some who were never mothers to those they brought into the world. Mother’s Day is not for these mothers because motherhood was not something they cared about. I don’t want to throw women who gave their children up for adoption so their children could have a better life under the bus, those women made a hard choice and it isn’t anyone’s place to judge them for it. However, to all of the “mothers” who never cared about the ones they “raised,” this day is not for them.
It’s because of this that I think that it’s important that all the women who never get their recognition finally get it. stepmothers who came into the lives of their partner’s children had a very hard time on their hands. Some came in, healing years of hurt that came from never having a mother due to unfortunate circumstances; perhaps their partner’s first wife passed, or perhaps they are just terrible people. Either way, these superwomen came in not wearing capes, but their hearts on their sleeves. This goes for all those who stepped into their child’s life when they needed it most, all foster moms and aunts who were there when a biological mother could not or should not have been.
These are the women who made sure that their children knew they were loved no matter their past. Your children may not even call you mom, they may call you by your first name but that’s never bothered you because the love is there regardless of the name.
So many of us are so lucky to have mothers in our lives -- biological or otherwise -- but not everyone is as lucky. Some of us had our mothers grace our lives much later in the game than some, but that doesn’t make them any less important. As much as this is a letter to all non-traditional mothers, it is also my Mother’s Day gift to my stepmom. Hopefully, for those who have been struggling to find the words, this letter can help. Thank you to all mothers, whether we call you that or not, for everything you’ve done for us. Happy Mother’s Day.
Love,
A very thankful stepdaughter
