Dear Nana,

It’s hard to believe that you are really gone. Our whole family would joke around saying you would never die and that you were invincible, which for a long while was very true. To say I miss you is an understatement. I keep going to call you or wishing that this were all just a bad dream and I am going to wake up and you will be here. I know you are always with me and are watching over me from heaven, but I wish I could just hug you one last time, or hear your voice telling me you love me one last time. I still have some of the voicemails you’ve left me and I listen to them quite often to just hear your voice again.

Many people are not as close to their grandparents and although I never met grandpa, I had the greatest gift of being extra close to you, nana. Nana, you were more than just “nana”, you were my rock when I needed someone to fall back on, my best friend when I needed one, and the one who always told me to keep on going even when a setback occurred. Never once have you said something was unachievable, you always made me push to my highest potential and when I would achieve my goal, you were the one right there who was so very proud and would always say “ See Kayla, I knew you could do it”.

I am writing this letter because there is still so much I wish I could say. We all knew that you wanted to go home to heaven and be with Poppy, but there is never enough time with you here on earth. I wish I could tell you all about my new internship that I have, or how my classes are going, or how some days are hard and I just wish I had you to vent to and get it off my chest. It is so odd to me adjusting to you not being here because I would always reach out to you first out of everyone to vent to.

You were the strongest woman I knew. If there is one thing that I know you’ve taught me, it was independence. You were such an inspiration because even when you relied on your aide to do most things for you, never did you lost your sense of independence, in ways such that you always decided what to wear and what to eat. You always taught me about faith. I remember Sean and I used to “play Church” for you. We thought it was the most fun thing ever to put on our very own mass for you, but we learned everything we could ever want to know about the church from you, and I thank you for helping instill such a strong faith in me.

I miss you so very much but I find comfort knowing you’re not in pain or suffering anymore. I find solace in the fact I know you are always with me and I can listen to the little signs you give me showing me you are there. I can’t wait until we meet again, but until then I know you will be looking out for me and with me always.

I love you endlessly, Nana

Your granddaughter, Kayla