I wrote this letter to myself at a time in my life where I wasn't fully happy with who I was. After writing this, I remember feeling a sense of confidence and accomplishment. If you ever feel like you aren't yourself and you need to love yourself, write yourself a letter, too.
I am a good person, and it is hard work to be a good person. Being a good person entails you having to treat everyone you meet with respect, no matter what your condition/ attitude is, you have to make 0 biases/ judgments on people and if you do, you cannot act on them, and you cannot be mean to the people who are mean to you.
It is so easy to be a bad person and ignore people, be rude to people and never give anyone the time of day, and to go off of premade judgments about people and make your opinion about them.
I am a good person.
The world has never fully been on my side. I've met people who I've trusted and have screwed me over, I've been in positions that have knocked me down and made it hard to get up, and I've put thoughts in my own head that made it hard to keep going for so long. With all these in mind, it is so easy for me to be a bad person and be mad at the world for all the stuff it's put me through.
Now that I'm in college, I see that all I went through in high school is going to multiply. There are people who just want to use me, people who don't want to get to know me based off of predisposed judgments, and there are people that I'm going to trust (and trust hard, because I'm that type of person) that are going to fuck me over.
However, I know who I am. I am a woman that illuminates positive energy and makes people around me happy (for the most part). I have realized who I am in social interactions and in the world, however, I am just coming to understand the Casey behind closed doors.
Casey on the outside does not like attention or attachment to people, but the Casey on the inside craves that, and it's starting to get to her about how many people in her life she has shut out to keep herself contained.
The Casey in the open is crazy and loud and funny but the Casey behind closed doors is quiet and likes to listen to and say nothing and expect nothing to be said or listened to in response.
I've always heard the saying that before you can love someone else, you have to love yourself. I am at the point where I honestly do love myself, just not equally.
I love both parts of me but have huge issues with both parts of me. I hope that all this self-realization comes soon and comes easy, because I'm ready to meet Casey, and I hope she is the same inside as she is inside.
I am starting to fall in love with Casey.
