The idea that “one day you will find yourself” has been very misleading over the years. This idea led you to believe that it does not matter what you do in the meantime, or what choices you make along the way…somehow one day you will just be yourself, that you will have a sort of ahamoment, where your choice of career and viewpoints on politics and religion will be typed in times new roman and double spaced into your mind.

But the coming of self is an active process…as in one that requires energy. Being and living are two actions often mistaken in translation. To be means to exist, to live means to remain alive. You must be. Be here, be ready, be eager, be thirsty. But whatever you choose to be, don’t just be alive.

You are living life. You are happy. You love your life. Yet, after school or after work you still feel discouraged by the amount of hours in a day. But, you are the one allowing yourself to live that way. Time is so precious. You forget that you aren’t just growing up…you are growing old. The feeling that you have not accomplished enough is not father time’s fault, you can blame the ticking time bomb inside of you longing for more. It is longing for you to do more than just stay alive. Longing for you to go beyond the bare minimum societal obligations, and social commitments. So this year, in those last hours of each day when you get home to put on something comfortable, and settle yourself with the idea that you deserve a night of watching Netflix…start telling yourself you deserve more.

And here is where you can start…

Stop telling yourself you’re too busy.

You do have time for lunch with a friend and a workout on a Tuesday night...I bet you even have time to watch a movie after.

Stop telling yourself you’ll do it tomorrow.

Why is it so hard to do the things that are good for us? The things that increase our own quality of life (i.e. cleaning our rooms, doing our laundry) seem to be the things least enjoyable to us. These are short-term investments in your own happiness, so pamper yourself.

Stop telling yourself no.

Adopt a yes attitude.

Stop telling yourself it’s okay.

Notice capture and release negative thoughts.

Everyone you meet is a teacher.

Even the man cursing at the Starbucks worker for taking too long with his frapp...from him you learn patience and the desire to spread more kindness into the world.

Do nice things for other people.

Have you complimented a stranger lately? Well remember, the stranger isn’t the only one left with the warm fuzzy feeling. So why not, treat yourself.

Generate unyielding love and gratitude.

You have so much to love and to be thankful for…so when it feels like you have nothing to live for, live for those things.

You must remain engaged in life in order to continue to be, and eventually be you. Yeah, the you who has it all figured out.

Never stop existing; nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Start being a part of your own life and soon after that, you will stop wondering when it will all fall into place.