Dear mom and dad,

23 years. You guys have been together longer than that, but that’s how long I’ve known you guys have been together. I remember all those stories you two told me how you two met, dad was the cool greasy guy working on a car in his garage, mom was the cute valley girl with the tiny waist and perm hair do, it was love at first sight; well that’s how it used to be.

Before I get into it, I just want to thank you for being there for us, your kids, you two worked and continue to work hard to give us a better life, and I am truly grateful.

I know it’s been hard the passed year when grandma passed away, we tried to be happy and tried to be strong for one another, but it’s hard. We don’t know how long it’s going to take for us to cope with this, and try to move on, but I just want to tell you, no matter what happens I love you both and I hope you two are able to love each other again.

I don’t remember the last time you both liked each other’s company. You two haven’t been loving each other recently, and I’m old enough to notice these things. I don’t know what happened, but you guys don’t have that spark anymore. It’s hard to tell if you guys are staying together for the sake of the house, the sake of us, but it’s hard watching you two drift apart.

Yes I know talking it out isn’t easy, we end up fighting about little things, like what to eat for dinner, or who’s picking up who from school, but I just want to say please hold on. I know it’s not healthy for us and its not fair for us to watch you guys like this, but we could hold on a little longer.

Divorce has slipped out of both of your mouth’s and It’s scary thinking about that everyday. Both of you say you can leave and not worry about any of this, but it’s not fair. You don’t think we go through emotional and physical pain like you do. I know both of you say those things because you won’t have to worry about us, the house, and bills, but it’s not fair.

Being the oldest, I’ve tried my best to help you both, making dinner, picking up my brother and sister from school, cleaning, buying groceries, basically being the next adult, but I’m draining myself out.

Since my priority is school right now, and trying to graduate and transfer, I do try to be there for you two as much as I can. If I could ask you to do one thing for me, that would be to don’t let go. I know we could go back to the way we were and love each other, and be the family we were before.

The path is clear, sure well have bumps here and there, but we could get there together. It’s going to be hard, but I know we could. Let’s make this house feel like home again.

“Nothing lasts forever. This pain won’t last. The pain tells you it will last. Pain lies. Ignore it. Pain is a debt paid off with time.” Taken from Reasons to stay alive by Matt Haig.

Love, your oldest daughter.