Hey little sister,

Well I should say not so little sister, because you are almost as tall as me and getting more amazing as the days go on. I wanted to let you know some things that you may not have caught on to yet.

I LOVE being your big sister. For as long as I can remember you have always been a constant in my life and I love you for that. I always wanted to be the best big sister I could be. Whether that meant protecting you on the playground, teaching you life hacks that I learned along the way, and being there to listen when you felt like the world was collapsing around you.

When you went into the hospital I felt like I failed you as a big sister. Big sisters are supposed to keep their little sisters safe and be the first to notice when something is off. I wanted nothing more than for you not to feel the way you did and to want to live a long and happy life. I’m sorry I didn’t know what to say or do at the time and all I did was sit there and be quiet. When you told me you hated me it hurt me so bad. I was so angry at myself, God, and whoever made you think that you weren’t worth fighting for. I wanted nothing more than for you to come home that I prayed every day for you to come promising that if they let you come home I would watch out for you better to make sure you were safe. So now when I feel like a pain for constantly checking up on you it’s not that I don’t trust you I just want to keep you safe.

You inspire me. You inspire me to be the best person I can be. So you have someone good to look up to. I want you to learn from my mistakes and make better choices when in a tough situations. I don’t want you to be afraid to be your true self because you are one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known. You light up the room when you smile or crack one of your jokes. I’m sorry that I am not always there to help you with things that you’re struggling with. Don’t think I don’t care about you if I don’t answer right away.

I LOVE YOU. I love you with all my heart no matter what you think I will always love you. No matter how many times we argue, how far my job takes me, if you get bored of doing things with me, and when you roll your eyes at me. I love how our eyes light up when you talk about things you love from anime to horses. I love how you see the world with your imagination that can compete with mine. I love how we bond over the simplest things like Pokémon, Sims, and Naruto. I love how you can help me come out of my comfort zone by doing crazy things with me that I would be too scared to try by myself. I love how you taught me what it’s like to live with someone without even realizing it. I just love you.

Love,

Big sister