I know it seems strange that I write you this letter when you are barely a day old. Nonetheless I hope that you will indulge me. I hope when you old enough to read this you will hear and heed my words.

First off, I’m your aunt. I might not be your mother by birth, but the affection and love that I have for you makes me to all intents and purposes your mother too. As such, I bear a tremendous responsibility and I hope I don’t let you down. When you were born I knew something big had happened but I don’t think I really understood the scope of our new responsibilities even though I was there when your cousin and your big brother were born. Even as I write this, I still don’t. Every baby is different.

You are a very lucky child. I know you will have times when you don’t quite think so, but you are. You have been born into a family of very strong minded and willed people. People with very strong personalities. These personalities often clash, but it’s really because they love each other so. When you were born (a few hours ago) I realized just how lucky you are. I saw an entire family put aside its differences and personalities and work toward ensuring your safe and warm arrival.

Meeting you this morning I felt myself welling up with such love for you that it’s like my heart is going to burst. I can be a hard person sometimes and be annoyed with everything– just ask your mother – but when I look at your little face, so innocent, pure and unspoiled, I just melt. I seriously cannot wait to see what the future has in store for you. Your little brother is so very overjoyed to see you, as the rest of your family is too.

We (your family) will protect and love you with everything that we have. I look at your tiny little face and wish that no harm will ever come upon you, but life doesn’t work like that. The world that you have been born into is a beautiful and hard one. You have been born into a world at war, where people kill each other because of something as trivial as what religion they practice or don’t practice or what part of the world they are from. But you have also been born into a world where people still care for strangers, where people will give a part of themselves to save people they have never met and expect nothing in return.

When I look at your little face, I sometimes think about how lucky you are that you have not yet been tainted by this world and how I wish you could forever remain so innocent. I pray that you will not be disdained by the bad things you will see in your daily life; that the world and its inhabitants will have evolved beyond such madness by the time you are old enough to understand. I pray that you will never learn to judge a fellow human being by the color of his skin, his social status, where he was born, or by his circumstances, but be a man of honour. A man that is kind and gentle and one who strives to make this world a better place than what you found it. Be a man that understands that we can never judge others because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation.

It might be a lot to ask of a day old newborn baby, but right now the world is yours for the taking. You will have people who will tell you about things that you cannot do. They will show you all the limitations that this world will offer. I pray that you will have enough character and strength to look beyond such challenges. The greatest men achieved things that during their times were deemed impossible. What makes them so great is not that they did these things, but they they had the strength and courage to dream of things beyond what other people thought ever possible.

Courage, that’s another character I pray you will harvest. Courage is not about doing the easiest thing, or what you not afraid of, it’s the exact opposite. The basic definition of courage is having strength in the face of fear, pain or grief.

I guess my biggest fears about your future are about how to protect and nurture you while letting you grow independent and strong. Like any other parent, aunt/uncle, I feel my heart grow icy with fear whenever I hear a report about a missing or murdered child. How can I possibly make sure that you are not in the wrong place at the wrong time, short of secretly following you home from school each day? But we cannot protect you from everything, if we did, you’d never grow. You’d never know what pain is. And you would never be able to build your character. Most of what makes us unique is the trials we go through and how we respond to them. You will experience love, and you will experience heartbreak. You will experience joy and you will experience grief. You will experience success and you will experience failure. All these things go hand in hand, and each works that you may appreciate the value of the other. You might ask: what value does heartbreak bring? Without it, you might never fully appreciate the value and the sheer wonder of real love. Without loss, you might never learn to appreciate the value of the people you have.

That’s another thing I want to prepare you for. As your family we will make you do things you do not want to, we will refuse you things that you do want, and you will not understand. You will have moments when you will hate us, moments when you will wish you were part of another family, a ‘better’ or ‘normal’ family. In all that, I want you to remember this: you might not see it, but we do it because we love you. When it comes to you, your big brother and your cousins, we have no double or underlying agendas. All we want is that you may have the best we can give. We might not be able to give you the best the world can give, but we will most certainly give you the best WE can.

I also hope that when you look at me 10 years from now, you will understand that the mistakes that we have made — and will make — as an aunt have happened because we are only human. We want to raise you to be a kind, decent human being who is respectful of the needs of others, yet self-confident enough to demand their respect in return. I want to teach you how to love and be loved.

Lastly and most importantly, I want to leave you with two things; the first being the Serenity Prayer, the second being a bible verse.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.

Love always,

Your Aunt Madi