Logan,

You have only been alive five short months, and I honestly can’t remember what life was like before you were born. You have become the center of the lives of the people around you, and you bring us all so much joy. No other baby in hte world is more loved than you are, simply because I’m your auntie, and I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone in the entire history of the world.

My entire life I have had anxiety, and it wasn’t until recently that I did anything about it, because it wasn’t until recently that it impacted my life to the point that I almost couldn’t function. It wasn’t think I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning or eat something – it was that I physically could not get my body out of bed in the morning, and my appetite just didn’t exist. Nothing helped. Then, your mom told me that you were going to be born, and for the first time in very long time I was so excited. I had something to look forward to. However, not long after that, things got bad again, and that was when I got help. Why did I get help? For one reason and one reason only: you.

You are the best thing to ever happen to me. Your smile makes me smile. Your giggle makes me giggle. Your sadness makes me sad. If you were never born, I don’t know where I’d be today, but I know I wouldn’t be as happy as I am had you not come into my life. And I know that your entire family can say that you make everyone around you so much happier just by being you. I cannot wait to see what you do next. I’ve watched you roll over and eat baby food from a jar and discover my dog and how soft her fur is. I’ve taken so many selfies with you and watch you laugh and giggle as Snapchat filters appear on your face. You are already smarter than me, and I couldn’t be more proud of how much you have already learned. I can’t wait to see you crawl and walk and speak and to take you to get tacos and donuts someday. Looking forward to your birth was also looking forward to your future – a future that is bright and full of fun adventures with Auntie Nikki!

I hope you never, ever, ever wake up in the morning not wanting to get out of bed simply because you don’t think there is anything for you to wake up for. I hope you never stop eating because your stomach can’t handle the never ending thoughts in your head. I hope you never cry, because a girl (or boy) you like doesn’t like you back. I hope you never sit at school and cry because you’re worried what might happen while you are there. I hope you never feel like you aren’t good enough, because you’ll always be enough for me, and I will always love you. I will always be here to help you no matter what it is, and I want you to know that you can tell me anything. I promise, mom and dad will NEVER know! My lips are sealed. I look forward to the future with you. Thank you for being born.

Much love,

Auntie Nikki