Losing someone, no matter their age, is always painful, but losing someone who had so much more expected life to live is always a little more haunting. No pain really compares to that kind of pain and you never really forget it. These days, every next story is about a car crash, or an overdose, or some freak accident. I'm reminded every time I hear about one of these stories just how fragile life is. That could be anyone. That could be me. When I hear about those stories, I often think about what those kids would say if they could say anything, what they'd tell their family, their friends, and all the people in between. Then, I think about what I'd say, what would be the last words I'd leave to the people I was leaving behind. So hear it is, a letter to the people I love if I leave too soon.
Dear people I love,
Hey, I'm really sorry about this guys. Knowing me, it was probably my fault. If it wasn't, this is awkward, but if it was, it's okay to laugh. Seriously, laugh! Life's too short not to—I would know. Hahaha get it?!
Anyyyways, this probably happened out of the blue I'm guessing. Life's pretty good at throwing those wild pitches every now and then. I'd say that maybe this wasn't supposed to happen, but I once heard Tim McGraw sing, "There's no such thing as what might've been, that's a waste of time" and in all seriousness, that's totally right. There are a million things that could've gone differently that could've saved me, but what happened was the one thing that didn't, and I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that, because I'm a firm believer in that whatever happens, happens for a reason, you all know that. I'm also okay with that because right now, I'm probably "ooing" and "ahing" at the pearly white gates, hugging some friends that left too soon, and hopefully eating one of Granny's home cooked meals. The Lord knows I've missed those.
What I also want you to know more than anything, is that I love you. I love you for the way you made me laugh, for the adventures you took with me, for the memories you let me make with you, for just being there. Thank you for making the life I had so beautiful, because it was and it was enough, even if you don't think it was. I know things like this can be sad and unfair, but I don't look at it that way. I am so appreciative for the time I got to spend with you, not mad for the time I didn't. I hope you all know that I will still be there for you even if you cannot see me, but keep a lookout for me anyways. I always have liked leaving notes. I loved this life, but even though I did, I don't miss it.
I can't feel that anymore, but know that my love for you will never fade. Know that instead of missing you, I'll be waiting for you, and in the meantime I'll be watching all the life you're living. Move on from the loss of me. I swear I'll come down there and haunt you if you're moping around all the time. Go see great things, go do great things and go be great things. I want that for you.
As for the funeral thing, can you make sure they play "Sweet Caroline" and pass out some of those bomb frosted sugar cookies? You know the ones I'm talking about. I want to end on a good note. I love you all and I'll see you soon, and never, ever, ever forget that only the good die young. *Wink, Wink.* Peace out, my friends!
