Dear Future Husband (whoever you may be),

I’m Sorry. I’m sorry that I can’t offer you another set of parents who love each other. I wish more than you know that I could offer you as much stability and support as humanly possible. My family is not whole in the way that it once was, and for a while I thought that I was broken with it. I spend my holidays in different parts of the country depending on the year, and I don’t have a childhood home that I would feel comfortable with showing you, as I no longer think it exists. However, I have picked up the pieces throughout the years that I once thought were gone forever, and have reassembled them inside of me in such a way that I now have a clear vision of the kind of home life I will give to my future family.

There’s No Getting Rid of Me. You may worry in the back of your mind that I will be subject to a higher chance of divorce in my future, or that I will be less likely to be faithful. But I need you to know that you’re wrong. I know that in these modern times, marriage is controversial—it’s highly encouraged in a way that increases rights for all members of society, but there also seems to be a trend away from marriage because people have been hurt by its constant failures. So although it may almost be considered old-fashioned, I am set on being with you forever. I will never divorce you so you had better be absolutely sure that you can handle my incessant singing, my constant need to cuddle, and my deep appreciation (addiction) for Ted Talks.

Expect me to change, and love me for it. People change over time. Just a year can greatly affect a person’s outlook, disposition, goals and more. I will constantly be growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You will do the same, and therefore our relationship will change with it. As we become different people with different priorities, we will constantly have to reevaluate our relationship, and adjust it to fit our new mold. If we are not growing together, we are growing apart. So I need you to go into this with the expectation that we are both going to be different, but there will have to be that mutual respect and care for each other, or else we will wake up one day and not recognize who is lying next to us. So love me for my changes, my irrationalities, my apologies, my kisses, and I will love you for your transformations, your exhaustion, your acceptance, and your hugs. This is the way that we will last forever.

I love you, and I can’t wait to spend a whole life with you. I am firmly resolved to learn from my experiences, and from my parent’s failures. My parent’s divorce has affected me greatly, but I do believe that it has done so in a way that will make me a better wife, and a more devoted mother than I might have been if they were still together. I have learned never to take a relationship for granted, whether it’s the relationship of your parents, or your own relationship. So with this in mind, marry me, marry my family, marry my present, my past and most importantly, my future.

Affectionately yours forever,

Monte