Baby girl, this space that God planted us in is a beautiful one, but it is also filled with a whole lot of confusion. There will be some days where the only thing you will be thankful for is the oxygen that still sits patiently waiting to be expelled from your lungs. Darling, this world that you have only begun to question has never been an easy place to call home. You will learn that I know two options. Go hard or go home. There is no in between for me. As it turns out, this is how I love, and, being comprised of half of my DNA, you have a 50 percent chance of inheriting that gift, or curse, from me. Here, in this place we call home, you will meet people who you will love with all your heart, but these people may not always love as deeply as you. Love them anyway. There will be times when you find yourself at the losing end of a fight that you should have never been asked to fight to begin with and, baby, my heart breaks when I think about that.

Now, I’m not trying to scare you. I just want you to be prepared. This thing called life doesn’t come with instructions. There will not be a warning label waiting to stop you before life decides to burn you. I want you to understand that one day, because this place where God planted us has its faults, you are going to get hurt and it will be a hurt that my kisses will not be able to fix. When this hurt comes, you may be outside the perimeters of my cloak of protection or you may be in the next room. You may not even choose to tell me, and that’s okay. But you have to promise me that you will tell someone. If you end up getting your mother’s gift of words, then there will be no excuse not to use them. The best gift I ever plan to give you is the ability to navigate your way through this lifetime without having to fear anything at all. I do not know when we will meet, but so far, this is what I can tell you:

1. Not every love that walks into your life will be one that should stay. Some people will love you too much, too hard or not enough. One day, there may be someone who loves you with a love that I did not teach you. They may want to hide you from the world, make you afraid to be yourself, or take from you the things I taught you to protect like your heart, your smile, your mind, and your freedom. Promise me, love, that you will not allow someone to take away your freedom, under any circumstance.

2. It is not your responsibility to make everyone happy. Stop trying to do so. Those who love you will not ask you to do this, anyway. If they do, check their definition of love. People who truly care about you may seem hard to find, but I promise they do exist, and believe me, they are worth every minute of the journey.

3. People are not perfect. So, do not expect them to be. The people you love most in this world will inevitably hurt you at some point in your life and this can make the world feel as if it is closing in around you. Make you feel like everything is crumbling at your feet and you have no way to stop it. You will feel this new brand of pain and whether it is the first time, the last time, or any time in between, it will never get easier. Do not pretend it is not there. Welcome it once it has arrived at your door. Let it know that it is not allowed to overstay it’s welcome. Allow it to be felt and then let the pain leave. Let the pain teach you something, but do not let it break you.

4. Like I said, pain will visit you more than once. But, for every moment of pain that ever falls on your doorstep, there will be moments of joy that will make you glad you stuck it out long enough to experience them. There are some kinds of pain that will make you feel like the light has been sucked out of you and darkness will try and make you believe that it will be dark forever, but please remember that darkness is only the absence of light and you are a candle that cannot be put out by anyone. If you have a hard time remembering, that is OK. There are those who are here to be the light for you until you find yours again.

5. Do not be afraid to explore. Yes, this means travel, but explore in a different sense, too. Learn to explore your feelings and your experiences. Examine what you know to be true, or what you think to be true. Never stop learning new things. Figure out who you are. I will always be here to remind you of what I see in you, but there will be a time when my words fail you. This will be the only way to find yourself if you ever lose your way in that head of yours.

6. When someone really loves you, they will let you know in little ways that can sometimes easily be taken for granted. Make sure to remind them that they are loved in return. Call them. Let them know you are thinking about them. Do something kind for them without expecting anything in return. Just try to do your best to be gentle with the people you love, even when things get rough.

7. If they try to change you into something they need or want you to be, walk away, darling. If they tell you that no one can stand up next to the image of what you think is right, do not believe them. Do not try to change all the things that make you amazing just so you can fit into someone’s idea of what you are supposed to be. You are no small thing. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. When they call you stubborn for this, tell them that they have absolutely no idea.

8. No matter what anyone tells you, no one can force you to love them. This is not love. This is where you will get hurt. There are people who will think that pain and love can be used interchangeably, but this is not true and I know you know better than to believe that. No matter how broken they seem, please resist the urge to try and fix them. You will be disappointed when you figure out that you can’t fix someone who does not see the need for change. I know, you just don’t want to see anyone hurt and I’m not saying not to love them, but you cannot take their pain from them, no matter how hard you try.

9. Every single human being that shares this space with you has a secret and a sadness that you will not know about when you meet them. Every time you meet someone, I want you to remember how well people can hide their pain. I want you to hear my voice telling you to think about that before you open your mouth to be cruel or unkind in any way.

10. When you feel like giving up, close your eyes and think about the girl from your bedtime stories. Think about how long she fought just to have someone believe in her. Think about the friends that carried her when she had no strength to walk on her own and how they stood beside her while she learned that no matter how large the dragons may be, she had the ability to slay them. Remember how they taught her that the nightmares were just nightmares and that with time they would all fade. Do not forget that she never stopped fighting for her life. Baby girl, when you feel like the world is caving in around you. When you feel like you can’t take one more step. When you are minutes away from giving up, think about the girl from your bedtime stories. Think about your Momma. Now, get back up, and fight.