Dear you,

I wish you never had to leave me when you left for boot camp. Granted, we weren't dating or even "talking" at that point. Prior to that, our late night car rides and endless laughs made me develop a soft spot in my heart for you, one that I don't really know what will fill it. It sucked seeing you leave and knowing I wasn't the one you wished you would see when you were done. I wish I would have wrote to you (now knowing you wished I did too). I guess what they say is true "distance makes the heart grow fonder."

While you were gone, I secretly thought about you a lot. I wouldn't tell anyone, but the thought was there. I always wondered how boot camp was going, when you could come home, or when I could see you again. When you were deployed, I hoped everyday you would come home safe. When I was close to your mom I would ask if she's heard from you lately and if she did say "yes" I hoped to hear how you were. I never stopped caring about you. When I got someone new in my life for about over a year, I was still excited to hear that you were coming home for a couple of days. I didn't get to see you, but it was awesome knowing that you were home.

I don't know why but lately I've been thinking a lot about you. Maybe it's because we had our ice cream and movie date (including an incredible hug) and I never got to say goodbye to you before you had to go back. It's amazing to hear what you want to do with your future and your career. It was awesome to hear about all the beautiful places you got to adventure through and make memories there. I just wish it wasn't through the military and it was with me by your side.

I'm not sure why I am writing this, but I'm kind of glad that I am. Although I can be completely honest with you without any sort of judgment, I'm too nervous to actually say this all to you. Yeah we have a snapchat streak going and we talk almost everyday, but something like this that will leave me vulnerable is too scary. I'm not even sure if you will have the chance to read this because of your schedule; I'm just glad I'm getting all of this off my chest.

One of these days maybe our ice cream and movie date will turn into more than something we do when you're home. But, who knows? I just wish you all the best with what you're doing, and I can't wait until you come home again so I can see you.

Until your contract is up, I guess we're both just waiting and wondering.

With everything,

Samantha