This is not a ‘hate on your ex’ article, because I could never hate them. To this day, they will always hold a special place in my heart. This is however an article about how, till this day, you still affect me both positively and negatively. Whenever I see or talk to you I can’t help but notice how perfect you are. You are my very first love, and I will forever be thankful for that.

You teach me how to be my own person. You demonstrate what dating your best friend is really like. You inspire me to be more confident and to speak up when needed. You help me understand how my future will only be as good as I make it to be. You voice how I must follow my dreams or I’ll never learn to be happy. That I need to stand up for myself. But most importantly, you show me that, even when this true love comes to an end, it will be okay to love again. You taught me that I need to focus on myself and my well-being over a relationship. You help me realize that I deserve to love and be loved.

You were also very dominating though. I would be so afraid to disappoint you. You would make jokes that were very hurtful at times but I would blow it off because I loved you. You would constantly take, but never give. I would of gave you the world if I could. I would bend over backwards for you and I would spend every penny I had to make you happy. I now know that isn’t what a relationship should consist of. I learned that no matter how hard you try, you cannot keep someone if they do not want to be kept. You taught me that you never truly know anyone until you date them. I learned that no matter what you do if someone is going to cheat, then they are going to. You taught me to not be as trusting as I thought I could be. Another thing I learned after that kills me to say is I learned that sex does not mean love and that you shouldn’t base your relationship around it.

In the end, I do not regret our relationship at all, and honestly if you were to ask me out again I would consider it. I’m happy for you though, I really am. I’m glad you are living your life and in another relationship. I want you to be happy even if I couldn’t do that for you. But I have come to a point in my life where I need to be first and you influenced that greatly. I see pieces of you in every relationship since you and its bittersweet and I’ll always share certain things with you. I hope you are