Hello,

I’ve been contemplating whether or not to write this; mostly because I was scared that once I put it all down on paper I would have to finally admit that I'm over you and over everything we had. It’s been three years since we broke up, but a part of me has always held onto you and sitting here today, writing this letter, I can honestly say I'm ready to let you go. But I have three things that I need to say before I do, which is why I am writing this.

The first thing I want to say is, I will never forget you. Even though I am letting you go, I will never forget you and everything we shared during our relationship. You were the first guy I said “I love you” to, which is something I will always hold close to my heart. You helped me through one of the hardest times in my life, battling Depression. You stood by me and loved me when I was incapable of loving myself. You showed me there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even when I couldn't see it. Even when I was at my lowest and I wanted to give up, you held my hand and gave me the strength I needed to persevere. You were always strong for me when I felt weak, and I don't think I’ll ever forget that. You always did your very best to show me how much you loved me and cared about me; even when we would fight or when I would make you feel like nothing you did was right. (I am so sorry for that by the way). I’ll also never forget how you made me feel. You made me feel the best I’ve ever felt. You would look at me like I was the only girl in the world, and for someone who has self-esteem issues that means so much. And to go along with that, you never let me forget how beautiful I was. You would tell me every morning when I would pick you up for school or just randomly throughout the day and it would make me so happy. I always knew you meant everything you would say. I never had to doubt anything you would say. So to sum it all up, you gave me so many great things to remember about you and our relationship. I don't think I could even try and forget them.

The second thing I want to say is, a part of me will always love you. I may be able to let you go, but I know I will never be able to deny that I will always have a place in my heart for you and that place in my heart will always be in love with you. You were my first love and you know me better than anyone. You know all my secrets, fears, hopes and dreams. You know how obsessed I am with the actor, Dylan O’brien. (Yes, that’s still a thing). You know how much I hate snakes, but you would still insist on catching them when we would walk through the forest preserve. You know how crazy afraid of bridges I am and would never complain about taking the long way around to avoid them. You know that I hate my laugh because of the fact that I snort, but you did everything in your power to hear it once a day. You also knew how much I loved you and you never let me forget it. I know in my heart that I can be okay without you, but I know that telling myself I can be okay without loving you is impossible. I know that I’ll never be able to “unlove” you and I have accepted that. You were my everything, my whole world, my best friend, my first love and I really did love you with everything I had. That doesn't mean that there won’t EVER be a day where I don't love you anymore, but i’ll cross that bridge when I get there. (Yes, I promise to actually cross this one).

The last and probably most important thing I want to say is, thank you. No, I am not going to sit here and list everything; even though there is so much to thank you for. You gave me the best years of my life and stood by my side through everything, that in itself deserves a thousand thank you’s because I know I wasn't always the easiest person to love. I lied, I am going to list them, but I won’t list them all; just my favorites. So here it goes:

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for pushing me to be the best I could be.

Thank you for never giving up on me.

Thank you for being my best friend.

Thank you for letting me come over all those times just to hangout with your dog.

Thank you for being my go-to for everything.

Thank you for listening to my music, even though you hated country.

Thank you for sharing your life with me.

Thank you for always being there.

Thank you for introducing me to your family.

Thank you for all the amazing memories.

Thank you for holding my hand through life’s toughest times.

Thank you for showing me I deserve only the best in life.

And thank you for showing me that I am capable of loving someone as much as I loved you. Without you, I would never have known that my heart was capable of that kind of unconditional and selfless love. It constantly gives me hope that one day I will find that again and I will be able to love like that again. Thank you so much for proving to me that love like ours exists.

I’ve said everything I needed, now comes the scary part. I don't know what it will feel like after I am finished with this letter. I don't know if I will be relieved or sad, but I do know that no matter what I feel; I’ll be okay. Maybe in a few years, if we meet again, we can give it another try. Until then, I am going to try my best to learn how to be whole without you. It’s nothing you did and I hope you know that, It is just time for me to let you go in order to fully move on. I am learning to live by the words, “If it is meant to be, it will happen.” And if were together in the future, great. But if not, it just wasn't meant to be. I wish you all the best and every ounce of happiness.

You will always have my heart.

With Love,

Mackenzie