Thank you.
Never did I think those words would leave my mouth for you, but thank you. Thank you for letting me go. For hurting me. For not chasing me. Thank you for not being the one.
I want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you for the pain you caused and for the many tears you brought on. I forgive you for letting me go when I wasn't ready to leave. I forgive you because I can now see how much my life has changed for the better.
Don't get me wrong. I know I was at fault for many things in our relationship and I apologize. I apologize for being my stubborn, pushy, controlling self. I apologize for not being what you wanted, but I thank you for letting me go.
Although we ended abruptly and with little to be understood, I wouldn't change what happened. I was hurt and angry, but I won't allow those events to make me feel insignificant in the grand scheme of life. I won't allow our failed relationship to control my future. Nor will I allow the pain you caused to define what I deserve from now on.
Our paths came together for a reason. We laughed and loved. We grew together and then we grew apart. I truly hope that you find happiness because I have found mine. I was able to get to know the real Chaslyn. The ends. The outs. Never have I better understood who I am. I have explored new options, new paths, and new choices. My life has hit high points and low points, but each part of my journey has been an experience that I never would have had if I were still with you, so thank you.
As I turn to see his face, I am reminded of all that I lost and all that I gained. I may have lost you, but I found him—the man who treats me better than you ever did. The man who reminds me every morning that I am worth more than what you told me I was worth. The man who encourages me to chase my dreams when you did nothing but stomp on them. The man who tells me he loves me and actually means it. The man who desires to know Christ in the same way as me, rather than ignore that part of my story. The man who will never hesitate to tell me how deserving I am of the love of a strong man. The man who picked up the pieces of my heart when they were shattered on the ground. The man I love.
So as I sit here, I find myself smiling at the thought of him. I thank him every day for being the man he is, but I thank you more for not being the one. You were not a mistake, merely a lesson learned. You cheated and lied and even broke my heart, but you never broke my spirit. Never again will I choose to believe that I caused this pain or that I deserved what you did, never again will I believe that I am unlovable. Never again will I have to believe these things, for he has already showed me so much more.
Thank you.
