Here's to the person who sits across from my every week and listens to me complain. The person who has seen me at my worst and my best and has supported me through them both. The person who helps me stay strong. Here's to my counselor.
I've always had a lot of trouble dealing with my issues. I don't know how to put my feelings into words and the thoughts in my head can get a bit overwhelming sometimes. I've bounced in and out of counseling for most of my life and have tried several different ones. However, it wasn't until 2014 that I found the perfect fit.
It took a while, as I have a lot of anxiety dealing with change and confronting my problems. We would spend some sessions in silence, some with just small talk about what I did over the weekend, and sometimes I would leave after the first ten minutes. But week after week she was always there happy to see me and do whatever made me comfortable. So very slowly I began to open up to her.
She has gotten to know so much about me and what helps. We talk for a short time, and when I have trouble sharing or begin to shut down, she pulls out skip-bo, and we play cards for the rest of the time. We are quite competitive and sometimes share mean words. I love it though. I love that even if I'm having a hard time, she doesn't let me win. She'll block me, tease me, and it helps.
I know a lot of people just say counselors are paid friends, but I don't see it that way. In fact, I think that couldn't be farther from the truth. When you find someone who is a good match for you, you develop this bond with them. They truly care about you and your well-being. They help you in ways you didn't even know you needed. They give you some purpose. They remember little things and don't forget to bring them up to show you that they were listening.
Sometimes, seeing her is the highlight of my week. I stress out when we have to skip a week. I like routine, and I like getting to spend that hour with her. It's my safe place, my happy place. She helped me find that small piece in courage inside of me to walk at graduation. She helped me cope with my anxiety and get myself out there and get my first job. She cheered me on during my fight with cancer. She complimented me when I felt insecure about my hair loss. She comforted me when I felt sad and felt like I didn't want to fight anymore. She celebrated with me when I was cancer free. She praises me and encourages me to do my best. She knows how big of a deal it is when I take a small step towards something new.
I'll always be a little crazy, and will always have my ups and downs, but I know that no matter what life throws at me, she will be right there, ready to fight with me. I know that no matter where I am or the situation I'm in, she's just a text away.
So this one's for her. For the person who is one of my biggest fans. To one of my best friends. To my counselor. Thank you.
