We've all had it happen to us before, we've all had a BFF who didn't quite live up to that "forever" aspect. Since we were little, we've been almost conditioned to seek a "best friend" because that was the norm. We’ve all gone through quite a few of them, most likely a couple in elementary school, new ones when you go onto middle and high school, and so on. Think about it: how many of your BFF’s from high school did you keep in touch with after graduation? What about friends you made your freshman year of college? My point is that very few friendships stand the test of time which is fine, its normal even. Whether the friendship ends over a fight, different interests, long distance, drifting apart, or any other reason, “breaking up” with your BFF sucks. It’s arguably worse than breaking up with a romantic partner because in that case you would have had your best friend to be there for you. It stings, and often there are lots of unresolved feelings. The purpose of this letter is to get those feelings out in the open and you’re free to take it however you want.

To my former BFF who became a stranger,

I want to start this off by saying that I don’t hate you. Not to say that I never tried to hate you because that would have been so much easier to deal with, but I could never have that feeling toward you. And I haven’t forgotten about you. I hate that I don’t know what happened to make you stop wanting to talk to me and to start avoiding me. I hate that we’re strangers, and I hate that I still think about you when you’ve probably forgotten all about me. I am very thankful for our friendship; you were always there when I needed you and you helped me more than you know. I just really hate that this is where we ended up. Sometimes it’s easy to put you out of my mind for a little while, but something always reminds me of you eventually. There’s just too many memories that I can’t let go of: the class where we met and bonded in, the Taylor Swift songs we sang at the top of our lungs to in the car, the many stops for coffee and sodas on the way home from school, the pizzas we shared, the TV shows we binge-watched, and so many more of those things that kept us together for so long that will never happen again. I wish that when something reminded me of you that it didn’t hurt so much. I wonder if that happens when you think of me, whether or not your stomach sinks or you tear up or feel anything at all. I wonder if you ever do think of me. Maybe you do, maybe you don’t, but I guess it doesn’t really make a difference now. But I do wish that the thought of you didn’t make me so sad because our friendship used to make me so happy.

I don’t know what happened to make you stop communicating with me and to start avoiding me. Maybe I did something terrible and just didn’t realize it, and if that’s the case I’m so sorry. I felt you slipping away when you stopped texting me back and kept saying you weren’t available to take my calls. I expected that and I wanted to work through it, and I really tried to, but you wouldn’t respond. I don’t know why that was, if something was wrong I wish I could have helped in any way I could, but you can’t ever help someone if they don’t let you. It got to the point where you didn’t even know that I had changed my major and added a minor, that I had found what I wanted to do in my life, you didn’t know any of my friends’ names or what was going on in my family. You didn’t ask and you didn’t give me the chance to tell you. You didn’t tell me anything about your life or that you were moving to a different state or how you were doing at all. Then you unfollowed me on social media and deleted my number, and I knew we had officially “broken up.” I tried really hard not to be hurt by it, but how could I not have been? One minute you were my person and then the next you were a stranger, and that really, really sucks.

At first I tore myself apart searching for all of the possible reasons that could have made you want to stop being my friend. That went on for months, and my insecurities fed on that concept until it was too much to bear. I’m not blaming you for that, I actually want to thank you because I ended up realizing who I am and working through those insecurities. I’m more confident than I have ever been, and it breaks my heart that you don’t get to see that. Maybe I put too much pressure on you as a best friend or maybe my weaknesses were too much for you to handle. If I put too much pressure on you, I’m sorry. That was not my intention. If the latter is true, then I am sorry for you because those weaknesses do not define who I am. I am confident enough to tell you that you’re missing out. I never thought I would get to that point, but here I am. I know that I am a kind person and a caring friend and I love that about me and I’m sorry that you weren’t able to see me grow like this. I hope you’ve grown too and found happiness, I really do. I don’t hate you and I don’t wish bad things upon you. I wish the best for you.

Maybe you’ll read this and maybe you won’t, at least now I’ve said all I wanted to say and you are free to do with it what you will. Best wishes.

Good luck with everything,
Your former “bestie”