Dear Abusive Ex,
It has been years since we have talked or seen each other. I try to avoid you as much as possible since our breakup, but sometimes it is impossible. It breaks me when I have to see or talk to you. My heart stops in fear of what you are going to say to me or how you are going to react being around me again. You definitely were not the person I thought you were. You belittled me, broke me, controlled my thoughts, controlled my feelings, and basically controlled my life. When we were together, I was not myself. I was taken away from my life and morphed into this new person that I did not know.
Our relationship was supposed to be like the ones you see in the movies. Well, that is how it started. We would spend time together and really enjoy each other’s presence. Then, things were changing before my eyes. I didn’t even know what was happening. I was beginning to lose friends, strong relationships with loved ones, and my religious faith. I was becoming angry with everyone and I was being brainwashed into wanting to spend all my time with you.
It was a struggle to finally realize that what we had was an abusive, controlling relationship where you were manipulating me. I was blinded by all of the signs that showed me this was unhealthy and I needed to get out. I struggled with this realization because I wanted this relationship and that’s why I went back even after we broke up the first time. I did not want to let go of this broken relationship because I feared of the consequences.
I remember the night that I finally decided to leave. I remember that amazing feeling I got from freeing myself from your restraints in this relationship. I remember all of the tears I shed because of how proud I was of myself for finally leaving. I remember it all like it was yesterday.
Our history will always be a scar on my heart, but it is this scar that reminds me that I deserve better. I deserve better than someone who feels the need to control and change me into someone I am not. And as for you, my friend, karma will always haunt people like you.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Broke Free