Dear 15-Year-Old Self,

Hello there, little one. Congratulations, we’ve made it to 19 years! I’m very pleased to tell you that you’ve managed to make it this far without doing anything detrimental to severely ruin your life, so give yourself a pat on the back for that.

I have a few things I would like to tell you to get you through the next few years, so listen closely. Bear with me; you know how much of blabbermouths we are, and this may be filled with some clichés, but they’re important clichés.

First of all, you’re going to blink and suddenly be 19 and a college student. I promise. You’re going to be upset with yourself if you don’t make the most of every moment right now. Take each day as it comes and treat it as a blessing. Try to really see the little things in life as big things, because they are.

Please try to work hard for me these next four years. I promise you that when Dad shakes you awake at 5 a.m. to tell you that you got accepted into your dream school, any horrible stress or ACT prep or all-nighters pulled because of your horrible procrastination will be 100 percent worth it. (I would also like to quickly tell you that your procrastination problem has not gotten any better and will continue to bite you in the ass all the way through college. Also, I know you don’t say “ass” yet. Stay that way for as long as possible.)

STOP TELLING YOURSELF YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Stop telling yourself that you’re not smart enough, that you’re not pretty enough, that you’re not funny enough, etc. You compare yourself too much to others. Being perfect is boring and overrated. I’m not saying your self-esteem doesn’t suffer every now and then at age 19, but I know how much you truly let these things consume you at this point in your life. Please don’t let it. Life is happening around you and you’re going to miss it.

Don’t beat yourself up and call yourself stupid when you fail one (er, maybe three) algebra tests. Others may have passed, and you may think they’re smarter than you, but you have things that they don’t. Trust me. (Heads up: you’ll fail another in college, have a quick mental breakdown, get your s*** together, and graciously pass the class. Again, hats off to us.)

You’re going to graduate! And succeed! Intelligence is measured in so many more ways than simple numbers, test scores, or grade point averages. I promise you that these things start to matter less and less. Don’t let those numbers define you, ever. You are bright in more ways than one and you are so much more than just a simple number. You are personable and creative. So what if you suck at all things math? Look on the bright side: when you’re finally 19, you’ll be done with algebra. FOREVER.

Along with being smart, you are also becoming beautiful and strong. I promise that your awkward phase will get better. (Notice how I didn’t say that it will end, because your awkward stage will somewhat continue on until you’re about 85, I’m assuming.) Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not a beautiful creation and a precious jewel (as Mom would say). Don’t be jealous of the other pretty girls. Don’t gossip about them either. Compliment them instead. They probably could use the confidence boost just as much as you could. It’s not a competition. Raise each other up instead of breaking each other down. You have redeeming qualities that they don’t have, and they have redeeming qualities that you don’t have. That’s okay. That’s how the world is meant to be.

And guess what? The people who are currently “ruling the school” or making you feel like less of a person? Their reign has ended and they’re just regular people now. I swear.

On to our favorite topic: boys. We both know very well that we could go on and on about this subject for a while, but I’ll try my best to keep it simple for you and let you learn the lessons that you need to learn for yourself.

You’re going to fall in love. A lot. Fall in love deeply even knowing you could be hurt, but guard your heart and be smart about who you let in.

You’re going to break some hearts. You’re also going to get your heart broken. A lot. And sorry to tell you this, but to put it bluntly, it’s going to be really, really awful. Let yourself feel that pain for as long as you need to. Don’t try to deny it or run from it. Let yourself be vulnerable if need be, and don’t shut out the whole world just because someone shut you out of theirs.

Boys are fun, but they’re never, ever, EVER supposed to determine your worth or make you feel smaller. Don’t force anything. Never beg anyone to stay. You’re infinitely better than that. If it gets to that point, it wasn’t meant to be. Know your worth and always picture it as his loss, not yours. DO NOT change who you are for anyone and please, please, please don’t ever feel like you owe a boy anything. Never pick boys over girl friends because your girls are the ones that will never leave you. And finally, be confident and be yourself, and the good ones will come to you when you least expect it.

MOM AND DAD ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. Let me say that one more time. Mom. And Dad. Are always. Right. They love you so much, and they want what’s best for you. They also have about 40 years on you, so please don’t give them as much sass as I know you feel entitled to sometimes. With each year that passes you’ll come to find more and more reasons why you’ve been blessed with the best parents in the world. You will come to realize this as you see how beautifully you’ve been shaped by them and how much they’ve done for you. There are so many things that they have done for us behind the scenes as well. Try to notice these things earlier.

And as for Drew, yes, you’re genetically programmed to not get along with your older brother, but take a closer look. You might have more in common with him than you think.

Are you still listening? This part is important. As hard as you try, you cannot please everyone. Try to focus on you a little more sometimes. You owe that to yourself. But at the same time, never stop doing good for others. Be kinder than necessary. There are more lonely and lost people around you than you think, and you’ll slowly become more aware of that. Maybe it’s your job to shine some light onto them. Maybe it’s not. Either way, treat everyone well. Like, really well. And the ones that don’t treat you well back? Well, those types people never go away. Still treat them well. But be humble about it.

You’re going to make so many friends! Always be open to different types of groups and different types of people, it will open your eyes so much and you’ll become so much more accepting towards others. You’re also going to lose a lot of friends. I’m talking about going-to-be-in-my-future-wedding type friends, and that’s okay. People do actually change, but you’ll never forget how positively they impacted your life and all the fun you had together. Just continue to be yourself and you will fit in wherever you go and find amazing people who cherish your presence along the way.

You’ll go through a lot of phases. You’ll be an introvert, an extrovert, a photographer, a rebel, a role model, a self-proclaimed saint, an artist, a class clown, and probably more than I can’t remember. You’ll change so much. That’s also okay. It doesn’t mean you’re fake (or schizophrenic), it means you’re discovering who you want to be. This will not stop at age 19. You’ll take bits and pieces of each of your “phases” to become who you’re ultimately supposed to be.

Impact people. Talk to that girl who always eats by herself at lunch. She’ll remember you for the rest of her life, and she’ll thank you at graduation.

It’s okay to feel things very deeply like you do, as long as you don’t become jaded by the world around you. There is a way to be sensitive and strong at the same time. The world around you will get ugly sometimes, but it’s also so beautiful if you look closer.

A couple more things before I go: don’t speed on 71 North, or you’ll be out 175 bucks. Sing in the shower; it has amazing acoustics. Paint your toes bright pink. Or paint your toes black; whatever you’re feeling that day. Dance around your room. Sing into your hairbrush. Don’t rush to lose your innocence. Laugh at the world. Laugh at everything. Wear more sweatpants to school.

Take easy classes senior year. Make noise. Keep your middle school Facebook albums up so you and your college friends and stalk each other and laugh about how stupid you all were. Blast your music and drive with no destination when you finally pass your driver’s test. And above all, have some fun. Please, dear God, go out and have some fun. Be spontaneous. Don’t be so serious all the time. Work hard and play hard! But don’t overdo the playing. It’s easy to do so in college.

You should see your life now. It’s beautiful. You have amazing friends, you’re surrounded by wonderful people, and you’re doing great in college… just like Mom and Dad said you would. And don’t worry, you only get weirder. We don’t have it all figured out just yet, but we’re doing pretty well so far, don’t ya think?

Well, I guess that’s all I have for you; I’m sure I’ll see you around sometime. I can’t wait to see our future home, our future family, and our future life. Keep your head up; as you can see, you turned out alright, kid.

Love,

19-Year-Old Self