Dear Mathbook Authors,

My friends and I have had a revelation and it could revolutionize the textbook industry, so listen up.

There I was, sitting on my friend's couch chatting with her and her roommate about random topics, when we stumbled onto the mutual agreement in the absurdity of math story problems. It could be said that the whole internet agrees that the abominations written into textbooks everywhere are dull, poorly written, and unimaginative. Well, inspiration struck us and “CreepyMath” was born.

I am of the opinion that math is unbearably boring, and I know a lot of people share that view. There's the stray math enthusiast -- you're probably in this category, but that's OK; everyone is weird in their own way. I also know that everyone has heard the question, “When are we ever going to use this?” in math class, even if you weren't thinking it. I was definitely thinking it. Part of the reason math is so terrible, in my opinion, is because of the story problems. They're dry, generic and utterly snoozefest-inducing. So what if we fixed that?

“CreepyMath” is the seed that could sow genuine interest in math, similar to how calculus isn't cool until you learn all the sacred geometry and understand math in nature. I didn't get that far, so I don't really know what I'm talking about, but you catch my drift. Everyone knows the only important part of story problems are the numbers and the correlation between them. The words surrounding those numbers could be anything, as long as it makes sense. I'm a fan of all things dark and gothic, including Creepypasta, host of innumerable horror and paranormal stories. Imagine it, solving math questions about what angle a man wielding a razor-boomerang would have to throw his weapon to kill all the foes in the room. You could study the angles of a bat's wing. Do calculations relating to gothic architecture.

If you don't like “creepy” things, well, good thing there are other themes to write about. Admit it, the best days in math class were the days you got to do a “fun” math problem because it had to do with dinosaurs or Santa Clause. This could be a custom-interest textbook empire! Hire some math wizards to work with some wordsmiths and capitalize on that idea. It's in the baby stages now, but there's potential.

Likely, this will never actually become feasible, because what high school is going to complicate supplies? There's no reason for students to have differing textbooks, and it actually prevents the students from working together. But it still makes a great coffee table book for all those Creepy and Math enthusiasts out there. But something's got to give. Be the change we want in the world; make math interesting!

Sincerely,

A woman who believes math books desperately need updating.

P.S. What do you think of customized “interesting” math books?

P.P.S “CreepyMath” patent pending. No idea thieves! Write math books about flowers or something.