It's my favorite time of the year. The leaves are changing colors- from that green all the way to the brightest oranges and yellows. They come sweeping down and land wherever they please. The air is crisp and frost begins to form on the windows. That is my least favorite part- running out to your car in the early morning hours to start your car so you can have warmth and visibility. You can smell the freshness of every new day. Apple picking and pumpkin picking are my favorite. Every year, mom, dad, Kacey, Ryan, Alyssa, and I go. And every year that we do mom takes a ton of pictures and Ryan sits there and complains because he hates pictures. He still won't smile in them either. He has such a nice smile too. He's just stubborn, but a good stubborn. Mom always finds that perfect picture (the one she likes, but really we all look quite crazy) and she turns it into our Christmas card. It's always a fun time filled with laughs and wonderful family time.

You've been gone about 12 years now. And with every year that passes, there is still always a big hole without you here. You were all of our rock- our steady place that was always there for us, for me especially. It is not the same without you here and it never will be. You should be here. And even though you aren't here physically, I know you are up there causing hell. Heaven was granted the greatest gift- they have you. They have my best friend and the one person who could make me feel better about any and everything. Heaven is really quite lucky. I know you are watching us, but I wanted to fill you in on some of my life. I wanted to write you a letter, all the way to heaven. I hope you get it.

I work a lot. I work 2 jobs- both for the same store, but different locations. I work around 50 hours or so a week and I ride for the Rockaway Township EMS Squad. Did you know I was an EMT? I save people, Ma. I love every minute of it. I love being that one person that could make a difference. I wouldn't want any of my patients to have someone else taking care of them because I know with me, I will do anything and everything that I can and that I was trained to do, to not only help them and make them feel better, but to give them their very best shot. I took some time off of school, but I'm really excited to become a nurse. I know I used to talk about it when I was little and I can't wait to make you so proud, when I do become one.

I've been through my fair share of hard times these last couple of years, but I am your granddaughter. I am Rosemary's granddaughter and I pushed my way through them in the strongest way that I knew how. I did it because I knew there was something better waiting for me. I'm a lot like you in that aspect. You were always so strong, even when no one else was. You had enough hope for everyone.

I found my place in this world. I'm an EMT and a future nurse. I found someone that makes me the happiest girl in the world and my Jeep. Oh my goodness, I hope you see how beautiful my Jeep is because if you were I would most likely talk your ear off on all the exciting(only to me) things that I am doing to her and how in love with my car I actually am. I know you would love her just as much as I do. I named her Betty White. I know, it's not Rosemary. But this was my thinking, there will only ever be one Rosemary and that is you. There is no one as worthy of that name, other than you. Plus you know Betty White is pretty cool.

I love the color yellow. And coffee. Mom and I are coffee addicts and dad always makes fun of us for clogging the cabinets with new coffee mugs and new coffee pods. I write. I love to write- about anything that I feel. It makes me feel unstoppable. I wish I was creative like you, but I'm really quite awful. Kacey and mom are so crafty and talented. They take after you in that way.

I know you are watching us. And I know you are always making sure that we are okay. I just wanted to write you this so you know how much I wish I could say it all to you. That we could sit and talk on my bed for hours about the new love in my life or even about how hard school is. And even if we can't, I know you already know and are sending nothing but happiness towards us.

Ma, I love you and I miss you, everyday and that will never change. I hope you get this letter and you are so very happy. Thank you for watching over us for always making sure that we are okay. I know that this isn't everything that is going on, but I know that you already know everything. This is just a letter. A letter to my best friend.

I love you to the moon and back.