In today’s day and age we are all put under various pressures. Some are related to school, relationships, careers, and our image. There is this idea that we have to fit the “ideal” body image. It’s causing pain and suffering for many people, and you may not even realize that many of your acquaintances are struggling. It could be the person who sits next to you in class, the barista who knows your usual coffee order, or maybe your best friend.

The struggle of fitting the image is real. It is a thousand pound weight on your shoulders that you carry with you everywhere. It is so damaging that some don’t survive.

Some are able to positively channel the pressure and be confident in their body. They don’t stress as much about how they look but rather show up saying, “D*$# I look fly!” And that’s an incredible and envious ability.

There are others, though, who fall to the voices and the media into a spiral that is all consuming. It leads to calorie counting, restriction of food, and even worse. What I’m realizing is that the problem isn’t just stemming from the media. It’s also being fueled by the comments and judgments of the “average Joe”. It is completely disappointing.

So this is my letter to you. To all the “average Joes”; to humanity.

Everyone complains about the media formulating this “perfect image” but then they turn around and make comments to the people they know and make judgements about food and weight. If someone wants a cheeseburger, let them have the cheeseburger without a comment about whether they are sure they want to eat that. Don’t look at the one meal you see a person eat and say how small it is. You don’t know why they decided to go with a smaller meal. Maybe they had a large lunch or have a large family dinner to attend later that day. You have no idea.

Recently I watched someone who barely knows one of my friends comment on how she must be so hungry because she had regular sized salad and yogurt with fruit: a normal sized meal. Those are the kind of comments that destroy and eat away a person. Those are the comments that slowly cause a person to rethink food and actually, legitimately lean towards making a detrimental change. It leads towards the path of an eating disorder.

This is obviously somewhat hyperbolic. But you have to think about how your words can affect a person. There are some people who are struggling day in and day out to convince themselves that they aren’t overweight, they don’t eat too much, and that their well-balanced meal isn’t going to cause them to gain 5 pounds.

This isn’t to say that if you see a friend who consistently eats small meals or skips meals that you shouldn’t have a conversation about it. However, there are ways to properly approach the situation. And you shouldn’t do that to someone you barely know. There are better ways to talk to someone and help someone.

Words have more affect than you know. Please think before you speak and be considerate. Everyone is going through something you don’t know about.