We all have that one guy who comes into our lives and changes the way our world works. He somehow changes the way you breathe, and he changes the way your heart beats. He changes the way you wake up in the morning and the way you go to sleep. He makes you feel loved when you feel as though you've hit rock bottom, he's there to put a smile on your face when all you want to do is cry, and to top it all off, he's there to be your best friend and your person when no one else is around. He gets you. He's the first text in the morning, and he's the last phone call at night. He's the one who makes you wake up every day with a passion. It's crazy how someone so insignificant can change your life within a few months.
But then something happens. Something so uncalled for and hurtful. Something that makes your world feel like it's about to crash or end... he decides it's not working, or he needs time, or he's not ready. But regardless of the reason he gives you, the bottom line is he's done. He no longer loves you, he no longer feels as though you're his person. We've all been there, and we all know what it feels like. It feels like there's a burn in your heart, and no matter what you do to distract yourself, it doesn't go away. It feels like your life is coming to an end, and the best thing that's happened to you, becomes the worst. Life just simply cannot go on like this. Yet, somehow every day the sun rises, and every day it sets, and life does seem to continue. But when does the hurting stop? When does it come to an end? When will I be myself again? These are questions I ask myself every day.
No matter how many times you run through the tragic break up in your head, it still doesn't make sense. How could someone who "loves you" hurt you so much? How could you have fucked up so much that he wants nothing to do with you? How could he just stop talking to you and be totally okay? The harsh answer to that is, he's an idiot who doesn't care about you. He's an idiot for losing a girl who is so passionate for him. He's an idiot for losing the girl that would do anything for him. He's an idiot for losing you. There is nothing you can do about it. There is nothing that can make the hurt go away, and unfortunately there's nothing to make you stop thinking of him. Your passion for him was not the passion he had for you, and as much as that hurts to hear, it's why he was so easily able to leave. It's why he can so quickly move on, or so easily stop talking to you. It's because, quite frankly, he did not and does not feel the same way you do.
So my only recommendation is to get over his fugly loser ass and meet someone who loves you and is passionate for you. Meet someone who wants nothing more than to talk to you all the time, or call you with his funny stories, or tell you his stupid embarrassing mistakes. The guy who broke your heart is not worth the anger or the pain. He's not worth the heartbreak because he doesn't care. The guy who does care wouldn't do this to you. Don't tell yourself you aren't good enough, or skinny enough, or pretty enough, because you are. The guy who broke your heart just doesn't appreciate you or what you did for him, and that's his fault. Not yours. So don't ever think it's you. Ever.
Wake up in the morning, and tell yourself it's a new day. Forget his sorry ass. Spend time with friends, go for a run, put yourself out there with new guys (but only for the right reasons). Don't tell yourself he is going to come back... he's not. If he were going to come back, he wouldn't have stopped talking to you or made you feel like shit. Don't think the two of you were meant to be because you weren't. He was meant to be an insignificant learning step to make you a more complete and better person.
It's okay to cry, and it's okay to hurt, but hurt because you miss your best friend, not because you lost the guy who did this to you. You have support. You have other friends; lean on them. You don't need a shitty guy in your life, someone who makes you upset. You need to be able to go out with friends on the weekends and experience life. So get your sorry ass out of bed. Dry your eyes. Push your broken heart to the side, and have fun! As much as you wish he knew the pain you were in, unfortunately he just doesn't care. He will learn with time that what he lost he cannot get back, and what you had was unique and cannot be found with anyone else.
But move on. Move forward. His loss. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are funny. You are perfect. He's the one who made a huge mistake. Now go make yourself a better person. Rise above the hurt. Rise above the tears. Rise above the lost appetite. You are better than he is, and the right person will come in time. I promise... and promises are never broken.
