"Hey boo, Why are you so down? He broke it off? Well, tell me how you're feeling." — A Great Friend.
Okay look, I've had my fair share of sad breakups, the abusive relationships and being cheated on, as well as the usual bad things. I'm not trying to change you, how you act or feel, or what you do. I want you to be the happiest, and right now, obviously you're not. Let's dive into the relationship itself, before he decided to end it.
You were not happy.
You might've woken up, texted him "Good morning" and told yourself you were happy, but really you were just comfortable. You got used to him being there; him saying something rude or sarcastic things didn't bother you anymore.
You were comfortable with the fact that you were getting dirt kicked on you everyday for being yourself and treating him the way you thought he should be treated, but in actuality, he lost his feelings for you a long time ago.
He was just using you for all the small things (i.e. bringing him lunch to his work, having dinner ready for him every night, washing his clothes, spoiling him).
Yes, you should spoil your man, but he will get comfortable fast.
You became a slave in your relationship.
If you're like me, you give all of yourself in a relationship, but when the love isn't reciprocated, you lose some of yourself because you're so wrapped around them.
That is what happened, my friend.
You were so caught up with everything he was doing, saying, eating. You lost sight of your goals, your future, yourself. You have to realize this before it happens and either bring it up to talk it out (you and him against the problem, not you against him, against the problem) or you dump him so he doesn't take advantage of you anymore.
I honestly never understood how someone could let another person treat them so horribly until I really loved someone who I thought was good for me. I have seen you at your happiest and at a super low point. Both involved a man.
Babe, how about we focus on your self-confidence issues.
It is OK not to be fully OK with yourself at this point in your life. it is OK to not have a degree yet... and for the love of God, it is more than OK to be alone for a while to find yourself, your life and make it what you want it.
If you constantly chase after a guy, where is yourself? You sit and ask yourself, who am I without that person? You are you! The best part about life is having yourself figured out first before trying to bring some complicated man into the mix.
You will get your degree, get a job, get your own place, your own car, all the dogs you wish and the man of your dreams. Only if you work for it!
You can't sit on your ass and wish on dandelions and shooting stars forever — you have to go out into the world and make the difference you want. You have to go out and see things, experience the true up's and down's, and make the best of your life.
Daily reminder: you can do anything you put your mind to.
You have to let him go. You have to see the bad outweighed the good. You deserve so much more from a man. You deserve someone who won't drain you when you talk to them, and someone who gives back, not just takes. Someone out there is your pot, you just have to be patient. Please don't settle for less and please dear God, don't let him back into your life.
