Dear Friend that I hurt,

Let me start off by saying that I hope your classes in college are going well. I hope that you made lifelong friends that you can open up to and that are willing to drown you in their friendship. I hope that every party you go to, you take lots of group pictures and crazy selfies that you'll look at days from then and laugh about them like we used to. I hope that you stay out really late even though you have an 8am and then wake up to an email that your class has been cancelled because there is no better feeling than that!

I know that when you see a picture of me you aren't thinking about our best memories, only the hurt that I caused you. I wish that you saw our long car rides where we drove around the block 10 times just to keep singing throwbacks. I wish you saw all the times we showed up at each other's houses without asking. I wish you saw how much I still care about you. I wish you could see how happy I am. I'm so sorry for the way that the past couple of months have played out. Hurting you was the last thing on this earth that I ever wanted to do. Going behind your back and being dishonest was wrong of me and I don't blame you for the silence you're giving me. I wish I could have had a better opportunity to tell you how I felt. I wish I would have been brave and just told you when I first knew what was happening. But since I didn't go about the situation how I should have, I still want you to know everything that's been going on in my mind, so I hope you take the time to read this.

You are one of my closest friends, we grew up together and not having you in my life the past few months has made settling in to college that much harder. I don't blame you for being angry and upset, but I hope one day you can think of me without hurting. You mean so much to me and I never meant to break your heart, but I want you to understand where I am coming from. I was in such a difficult situation and while I didn't want to hurt you, I also didn't want to hurt myself. By ending what was starting to begin and by hiding my feelings, I was going to end up being hurt and I wasn't sure what the best option was. I was confused and I know you can relate to how I felt at the time. I know our friendship is worth so much to both of us and I hope it means enough that we can work on fixing it rather than throw everything away. I'll be right here when you want to talk or just want to listen.Please know I'm thinking of you. I love you.

Love, Your.... friend?