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The Letter To My Ex I Always Wanted To Write

Its been almost a year since you broke me.

Emily Tague

Oct 05, 2018

Ball State University

1368

Pexels

To my ex,

Its been almost a year since you broke me. I'm looking back at everything and realizing that there is something I never got the chance to say to you.

When we broke up, I so selfishly wished you would stay with me. I so selfishly wanted you to risk your own happiness for mine because I believed that was how you loved someone. I thought if you had ever really loved me, you wouldn't have left. I told myself you never really loved me, which I know is a lie. or you wouldn't have spent years with me. But in my mind at the time, that was the only thing that made sense. In my broken heart and mind, that was the only explanation as to why you would leave me. and I wanted so desperately to hate you for doing it. I wanted to hate you for hurting me. I wanted to hate you for breaking me down within three days. I wanted to hate you so badly.

But now, after almost a year, I feel a completely different set of emotions.

I have never been so grateful that you hurt me as I am now.

You did what you had to do to be happy. You left me to find your own happiness, and you also left me to search for my own. Because at that time, I didn't know happiness without you. Which was not healthy. You were right, we were too dependent. I wanted to hate you so desperately back then, but now I am so grateful you made the decision you did.

Without you leaving, I would have never been forced to figure out my own happiness. I would have never been forced to start being more selfish with my time and who I spend it with. I would have never been searched to figure out who I was without you. Without you leaving, I would not be who I am today. I would not be so proud of how far I have come. I would not be with the amazing man I am with now. I would never have had to pick myself up and claw my way back up to a high point. I would have never become who I was meant to be all along. So thank you.

Thank you for forcing me to grow, and grow up. Thank you for pushing me. Thank you for teaching me who I really am.

I am so happy for you. I am so happy for you pursuing your dream. I am so happy for you and how far you have come. You are going to do great things, just like I am. And I'm glad we are doing those things, apart. I am hopeful you stay on this path to do well, and I am hopeful that life works out in your favor. Please know I hold no more ill will towards you, and I wish you nothing but peace, love, happiness, and positivity.

Sincerely,

Your ex-girlfriend

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Letter To My Ex I Always Wanted To Write

Its been almost a year since you broke me.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!